Confessions of a Stressed Out Mom

Housing saga continues

2009-04-01T20:41:00.002-05:00

Well we have had 4 showings so far on our house and one of those people actually came back twice. We are thinking that there's a possibilty of an offer from this individual. I got a good feeling from her that she really liked the house and was very compliementary about all of our renovations that we have done in the 8 years we have lived here.

We don't have a line on a house that we want to purchase ourselves but we are toying with the idea of actuallybuilding a new house. There is a double lot in the area reasonably priced that we are thinking that what we net from the sale of our house we could purchase the lot outright and then just go forward with building.
Our realtor gave us a builder named Wayne Homes and when hubby and I checked out their site we found that most of their plans were reasonable and actually were something that we liked. We are thinking ranch is the way to go or nothing more than a split level.

I'm excited by the fact of that we could actually have a brand new house that we get to plan for our family and not trying to fix what other people did before me. I guess it all depends on if we or if we don't get an offer on our house and if it's an offer that we fnd acceptable. Keep your fingers crossed.

Guess what DVD arrived in the mail this week?

2009-03-27T17:17:00.002-05:00

YEP.....TWILIGHT!!

You would think that I am too old to have a fasination with what some people call a teenybopper genre book/movie....but here I am.
There's just something about the characters that draw me in and remind me of what it's like to be a teenager not to mention what woman doesn't want to find their true love....the one person that would do anything for you?
I am pretty sure that's every woman's fantasty. I didn't say reality...I love my husband with all my heart but man he's no EDWARD!

I've gone wireless

2009-03-23T13:26:00.002-05:00

How cool is that!?!

Last night hubby and I broke down and finally purchased a laptop and wireless router. It was a good deal and with his DJ jobs over the next few weeks we will have the laptop paid in full. What a cool feeling. We have done that recently with the new living tables we bought and the flat screen tv and home theather.

So here I sit in the middle of my dining room floor warming myself in the sun typing away. What a neat feeling. It's my hope now that I might actually get to work on my fan fiction again. At least now when Girlie Girlie wants to play out in the sand box I can bring the laptop outside and get some writing done.

Hubby will also use this for his DJ jobs but it's going to be a bit for us to get all of that under control....so this is my toy for the moment and I AM LOVIN' IT!

FREAKIN' OUT!!!

2009-03-09T19:30:00.002-05:00

Okay...we finally bit the bullet and put our house up on the market. We had been going back and forth with that idea for many months now. We really want a house that affords us a gameroom so that when the kids have friends over they aren't running all over the house the way they are now. It would be nice for them to have a designated area. Not to mention a nice gameroom for us adults to entertain in as well.

Well both hubby and I were pretty nervous about the whole thing. You know what happens if someone wants our house and we haven't found one we like and have no where to go. The thought living with either of our parents for any length of time totally gives me the willies. As does the idea of finding a house we love and can afford and then lose it cause our house hasn't sold. I refuse to get us in the fix of having 2 mortgage payments. Seen that happen to too many people and we are so NOT going there.

Well our house has been on the market for less than 24 hours and the realtor doesn't even have all the pictures up on the internet that she took the other day and we already have a showing for tomorrow. I am so FREAKING OUT! I am excited and scared at the same time if that's possible.

I guess we will have to wait and see....all I can ask is that if this is God's plan he leads us in the direction we are meant to go. A few prayers from all of you couldn't hurt either.

MIA....

2009-02-22T09:28:00.002-05:00

Yep that would be me....MIA for nearly a month.
I haven't blogged nor have I visited some of my favorite bloggers. Sorry for that.

Lately life has been getting the better of me. For a while there I was pretty angry at the world for what I thought had been taken away from me. I was really missing my best friend. I felt like a part of me had been cut out. I was really missing the school we were growing. And I was very angry and upset that I felt like she and her family was ripped away from me and mine.
I still miss her each and every day...I still wish that she was a mere 20 minutes away from me and that I got to see her 5 days a week 8 or more hours a day. But that's not the case and I know that her leaving me had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the ecomony that we now live in. It still sucks though.
I was pretty miserable for a good many weeks. I was snapping at the world and all I wanted to do was sleep and hope that when I woke up that the stuff that I thought was wrong would have disappeared. Unrealistic I know. But that's where I was at that point.

A friend of mine noticed my mood change and started gently probbing my behavior and moods and I am very thankful that she did. Her and I have been doing a 40 day journey and while not all the days in the book bring about a revelation they have caused me to think about some deep seated issues in myself. I am hoping I have turned a true corner this time...a corner that I wouldn't backtrack to again. That tends to be an issue of mine....I'm not very good at making permanent changes in myself. I'm a work in progress.

I'm still struggling with being the best me I can be. I tend to have those moments when I go backwards rather than moving forward into the place I want to be. But at least now I can recognize that and stop myself midway and change directions.

So hopefully I can put my best foot forward and being to grow and change for the betterment of myself and my family.
Wish me luck.

Weigh in a few days late

2009-01-24T07:51:00.002-05:00

well actually I did weigh in on Thursday I just didn't stop to report it here.

149.0 lbs.

So I am thinking for on reason or another last week's weight was some sort of fluke...since I haven't really done anything different in the last 7 days and I dropped six pounds. And this weigh in took place during "that time of the month" and that's usually when I pack on the extra water weight. So who knows. I still have 24lbs to lose and if I would just attempt to add some physical activity to my lifestyle maybe that would happen...it's just the exercise bike so isn't doing it for me. I need to find some other motivation.

Any suggestions?

I am so going in the WRONG direction!

2009-01-15T08:08:00.003-05:00

It pains me to even put this down I gained 7 lbs between last week and this week! So I am at a wopping 155.2 lbs!

What's up with that?!?!
I am so frustrated with this. I am beginning to wonder if I might now need my meds for my thyroid adjusted. I have an underactive thyroid and lately I have been feeling excessively tired...like needing a nap mid afternoon. I know that's a good sign that things are out of wack. Not to mention weight gain....and to me 7 pounds in a week is more than a little weird. I mean I know my period is next week but still.....

Okay ladies I am more than a bit frustrated and upset. Any thoughts or suggestions. I would love them.

Weighing in

2009-01-08T06:48:00.003-05:00

If you check out my little ticker at the bottom of this page you will see that I gained .8 lbs. So my weight now is...... 148.2lbs.

I have to ask how on earth does that happen? I not only have been drinking at least 50 to 60 oz. of water a day, dropped back to 1 diet wild cherry pepsi a day added more fruits and veggies to my meals, and started exercising 20 minutes every other day on my exercise bike. Not really seeming fair if you ask me.

Okay I know that up .8lbs in the whole scheme of things isn't bad...but I would have been a much happier mama had I gone down .8lbs.

Well I am not going to give up....I will continue and do my best to hit my target weight. Slow and steady wins the race right?

Torn....

2009-01-07T14:06:00.002-05:00

Most of you know that this year I am in a dual role at my job. MWF -- I am a preschool teacher for a 3 year old class and TTh I am in an administrative role working with the director of the preschool.

When next school year comes around I have to make a decision which role I am going to undertake since neither role can be effectively undertaken by my being split. I am really torn where it is I am supposed to be. I have been in an admistrative role for the better part of my 20 year working career and admittedly it's a role that I do very well with -- me and my control issues. That area I can completely totally control. LOL.
Yet I really do love working with the children -- opening educational doors for them and seeing the light bulb go off in their heads. And I was lucky enough last year with my Montessori experience to see just what children of all ages can accomplish if they are given the chance and opportunity. So I know that I could make a difference in my students lives if I were given the chance to. My problem currently though is that I am working with a great many old school teachers who see preschool as a more social experience rather than an academic one. Please don't get me wrong....social is wonderful but I truly believe that you can marry the two to form a well rounded childred ready to enter the public schools.
Right now I don't feel as though we are preparing my 3 year old class so that when they move into pre-k they have a good foundation of skills to build on. To complicate matters while I truly enjoy my teaching partner as an individual our philosophies when it comes to the children are widely separated. I look at the children in my class as if they were my own. I truly believe that I treat them the way I would treat my own or better yet want to give them all the opportunities that I want my own daughter to have. I have seen the potential Girlie Girlie has and if I am honest with myself I don't see that being capitalized on in her current class. She's losing some of the skills that she gained from Montessori last year. And before you all jump on me and tell me that I should be working with her....I do do my best but I am sure all the working moms out there can atest to that some days there aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done.

I know the director needs a decision from me as to what role I want to be in come next school year (not until May of course) but I am having trouble trying to decide. I know that if some of the things that truly bother me in the way the classes are run don't change then me being a teacher won't be the right place for me and being only in the admin role would work better....the catch 22 is that I will miss the interaction with the children. I do truly love that.

So I don't know if I expect an answer from any of you....but I would like some advice and thoughts especially from any of those teachers that might pass by here. Thanks in advance.

Hiatus ... comes to an end

2009-01-04T15:03:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow morning that is.
After 2 blissful weeks off of work it's time to get back in the swing of things again. Not sure how that's all going to work. Girlie Girlie has permanently attached herself to me with crazyglue so I am imagining that school tomorrow for her will be interesting....as will it be for me as well since my 9 preschool students have also spent 2 weeks with their parents undivided attention. Wish me luck on both fronts.
And while Little Man has been getting up at the crack of dawn so he can master Guitar Hero come tomorrow morning when the alarm rings there will be NO dragging him out of bed. Ah the joys of returning from Christmas break. LOL!

I hope that all of your with children returning to school tomorrow have a good morning and I will be thinking of you as you are thinking of me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ~!~

2009-01-01T09:14:00.002-05:00

Okay I must be getting old since I wasn't able to prop my eyes open long enough to ring in the new year by watching the ball drop. Hey I am a mom who gets up at the crack of dawn what can a person expect? LOL!

I wanted to wish all of my blogger friends a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009! I am sure many of us are toying with resolutions we want to make but aren't sure we are going to keep. But it's my wish for us all in blogger land to find the strength to move forward in the new year and make the changes we wish for ourselves and maybe our families.

My list is long and while I worry about not accomplishing it...I am determined to try. That's the best I can ask for myself and those around me.

So my first goal is to get my weight and exercise plan under control. Here's my 2009 weigh in starting weight:

147.4 lbs.

Not exactly what I had hoped for but it most certainly could be worse. So I am not going to be crazy if I could lose a pound a week that would be more than gratifying. My goal weight is 125lbs. I have been there before so I know I can be there again. It's just going to take some effort on my part. I pray I am up for the challenge.

2009 -- It's just around the corner

2008-12-28T10:46:00.002-05:00

It's hard to believe it's resolution time again. Of course I am making them -- the question is will I be keeping them past the first few weeks. It's my intention to...but we all know how that goes.

I've been finding myself feeling in a funk for a while now. And when I look around at my life I have a good idea why it's been that way. I have let so many things that were important get away from me. My house...my weight...my temper...my walk with God...my sense of humor. The list is pretty long.
I haven't been taking the time to do the things that I enjoy just for me because I am so busy being something for everyone else. This isn't me complaining because I know that is the role of every wife, mother and good employee -- we take on much more than we can handle all under the guise of being able to handle it ALL!
So it's time that I get my life and the important things back in order. Starting with first and foremost my self image. I don't think I am totally over weight but I certainly don't enjoy looking at my naked image in the mirror either (please don't worry I don't spend hours in front of the mirror admiring myself not even when I was 124lbs a few years back) but I do know that I am getting to the point of really disliking my body image. I have all but given up on exercising and out the window went the good eating habits. It's time for me to buckle down and start over again making the effort to stay on track no matter how difficult that may be. I will admit to being vain and attractiveness is important to me and right now I am teetering on the verge of feeling very unattractive and not at all desirable.
So starting the first of the year my weekly weigh ins begin again. Check out the weight tracker at the bottom on my blog and watch for my progress. I'd like to put it at the top but having trouble with how to make that happen. I am blogger layout challenged to say the least.

As for my house...it's a disorganized mess. We have no dedicated playroom for the kids so every room in my house has become a playroom and it's driving me absolutely crazy. It's time that hubby and I begin getting our clutter under control. It's my plan to take one room...one closet at a time and get rid of those things that are under used or not used at all. And do my best to find a place for everything and if it doesn't have a place of function it's gone. I'll keep you all posted on that endeavor as well. LOL!

I have totally fallen out of my spiritual walk with the Lord and that really saddens me. I know it's completely my doing and I need to find my way back to him. I am just not getting much out of my current church experiences. I grew up in my church and my children are so involved in what the youth does there that I can't pull them out of it. But I can't seem to get excited about what I am hearing there. It's just not reaching me so I avoid going and I don't know enough about the bible and scriptures to explore God's teachings on my own. I feel sort of lost at the moment. I know I could simply just get back to talking with him daily and that certainly would help but I feel like such a hypocrite since I seem ride this spiritual roller coaster alot. The ups and downs of my faith make me nauseous So for 2009 I am in search of a way to make my walk with God mean something to me again.

Sounds like a tall order I know but I have to believe that if I get myself in order that many of the other things will fall back into place as well. Wish me luck okay and I will do the same for all of you as 2009 draws near.

Ah the joys of being a teacher...

2008-12-23T20:51:00.002-05:00

...2 weeks off at Christmas :o)

Of course there are many other joys of a teaching job but I have to admit at this time of the years it's great to think that I am on vacation until Jan. 5th.
I have been able to use these last 2 days wisely. Little Man has been at school still so it's just been me and Girlie Girlie. Yesterday I cleaned house and made it presentable for the guests that will arrive Thursday to celebrate with us and today I did most of the dinner prep so that it will be less to do on the big day. It's hard to believe that tomorrow at this time we will be tracking Santa via the internet.
Admittedly I am still not in the complete holiday spirit but I think I am getting there. It's hard because my family has dwindled in size. My sister and her family are in SC and my grandparents are no longer with us so it's hard sometimes to celebrate when the group is so small. I would invite friends along with my family but as you know my best friend is in Michigan with her family and I am feeling lonely without her.

I just wanted to wish all of my blogger friends a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I hope you get all you wish for.

Is there such a thing as a WHITE KNIGHT or is chivalry...

2008-12-12T21:22:00.002-05:00

...reserved for romance novels only?
I have been trying to come up with an answer to that question for a while now. I guess if I am honest with myself I will have to admit that I have always had a fascination with those novels where the bad guy, misunderstood, with a good heart swooped in and took care of the woman. That somehow they had a connection that was undiscribable but it was a pull like the moon had on tides.

You know it's the kind of romance that the guy would put the woman above everyone and everything including himself. That he made her feel safe and protected. Okay as you can tell I am stuck in some sappy romance novel mystic at the moment. Maybe I am even wollowing in it.
As much as I love my husband....I don't have that white knight. In fact I feel like I am always the one doing all the taking care of everyone and everything. It's beginning to wear thin on me lately -- perhaps it's because I am stuck in Twilight mania....and yes I am questioning my own sanity when I find a vampire sexy...well not really I seem to have a thing for vamps and men in the mafia -- you know again the mafia prince with the heart of gold. Are you sensing a trend yet? Other than that you are thinking I am nuts! LOL!

But seriously am I the only one who thinks it would be nice to be taken care of rather than always being looked at as the one that does the taking care of? I am not doubting that my husband loves me 'cause that is so not the case. But what the problem is that I feel like even after 3 years of dating and 12 years of marriage (15 total) that he doesn't really know me. Cause if he did he would know that's what I need -- what I crave -- what I want.
I write fiction stories with always the same themes.....those darned white knights. That's not to say that I don't write strong women as well, but I still think that a woman wants and needs to be taken care of -- without having to ask for that.

I have been in a pretty deep funk lately and I don't know if my feelings about this are contributing to my funk or if they are at the source of it. So I guess I am just expressing my own weirdness here...where I can.

How long has it been since you went out on a date?

2008-11-23T17:20:00.002-05:00

For me it's been probably since my kids were born that hubby and I just went out to go out together. Well today we did just that. He conceded and took me to see Twilight. Well I was going with or without him but that's an entirely different story.

I can say it was nice to go out without kids in tow -- see a movie of my own choosing -- and eat dinner at a restuarant that didn't have a kids menu on the placemat. It was a great feeling to be an adult and have adult conversations that weren't constantly being interrupted. I think that hubby and I should attempt to do that more often, even if it's only every other month. I believe that every married couple needs that. I know we did.
I found when I got home I felt oddly refreshed and able to be calmer than I have been in quite a while. Not sure how long that euphoria might last but I will take it while I can get it.

As for the movie itself -- I wasn't entirely disappointed since I know that the movie rarely is as good as the book. Not to mention that the book itself was over 400 pages and there would be no way to cram that many pages into a 2 hour movie. Overall I enjoyed the characters and the representation of the story. I felt that Kristen Stewart embodied the character of Bella. She had the nuances that fit what I pictured Bella as I read the book. Robert Pattinson while not who I would have choosen for the character of Edward...he did play the part well and in the end made a great Edward Cullen.
I am looking forward to the potential for more movies from the 3 remaining books -- New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn.

So any other Twilighters out there see the movie yet? What were your thoughts?

2008-11-16T15:19:00.003-05:00

“So the lion fell in love with the lamb”

I have to say that as the days click bringing me closer to November 22nd and the premiere of the movie Twilight. I am getting rather excited. There hasn't been a movie in along time I was willing to pay the high box office prices to see that was driven by my children's needs to see it vs. my own.

Well Twilight based on the series by Stephenie Meyer most definitely did it for me. I will admit to having a vampire fetish. I have always loved the tortured soul Vamps like Brad Pitt's -- Louis "Louie" in Interview with a Vampire, Angel from the Buffy the Vampire Series, and Edward Cullen from the Twilight Series is certainly no different.

It might sound weird that a 38 year old mother of 2 got so wrapped up in a series of books aimed at young adults yet the premise of the book for me was universal. It was about love, angst and fighting against all the odds not to mention the character of Edward is written as Bella's white knight and what woman at some point in her life hasn't wished for the man that she loved to swoop in and shield and protect her from the world? I have to say that that's where all the fictional male characters I have written about came from. That's not to say that I don't write strong female characters because I do....but I believe no matter how strong a woman is it's still nice to have a man be there to take care of you. At least that's how I see it.

So if you haven't heard about Twilight yet...here's your chance to do some research and if you have I would love to hear what you all have to say.

Oh were The 80's cheesy!

2008-11-15T07:21:00.002-05:00

At least the TV shows.

My reason for saying this is last night in the pre-dawn hours as I was flipping through the television channels I happened upon the show Knight Rider. If you don't recall it - it was a show starring David Hasselhoff as a crimefighter with a super intelligent Trans-Am that helped him get the bad guys.
I will admit that back in the day -- like the Dukes of Hazard it was one of the must see TV for me. Yet now last night over 20 years later I couldn't do much but chuckle at the screen as I watched this black Trans-Am speeding after the bad guy riding a horse and then to hear Micheal (David Hasselhoff) say KITT (the Trans-Am) "take over" and up through the sunroof he comes with lasso in hand and ropes the bad guy pulling him off the horse as KITT comes screeching to a stop. To make it even more cheesy -- with the sound of police sirens in the background you see Micheal continue to hog tie the bad guy and then the scene ends with him throwing up his hand in the air as though he was in a Rodeo.

I know that today's television for me anyway leaves a great deal to be desired since it's full of reality shows that aren't true reality. I miss the mindless comedies like Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley and even the overly soapy dramas like Dallas and Knots Landing. I am sure if I spent any time watching them again I could find them cheesy as well but I have my doubts it would be as bad at the small portion on the Knight Rider episode I witnessed.

So any one else have any cheesy 80's shows to share. I would love to hear what you all think.

You can only control yourself

2008-11-02T19:00:00.002-05:00

I have been thinking about that sentence a great deal lately -- especially since these last few days I have been feeling out of sorts and ready to fly off the handle at every turn. I wish I could put my finger on what's got me so wired but at the moment I don't really know what it is.
I was thinking that perhaps it has alot to do with what happened a few Fridays back with my neighbor or at least that was just another thing to add to what's been going on inside of me.

I can say that I haven't been controlling myself all that well lately. I have been losing my cool and my temper has been rearing it's ugly head more times than I care to admit. And the sad thing is I can see it happening and want to stop myself yet I can't seem to get it to happen. I know I need to make a better attempt at it though.

I am frustrated with our less than frugal ways as of late. Again we haven't completely fallen off the frugal wagon in the way of credit card debts and what not but we have been freely spending money on things like eating out way more than we should. That's a biggie in this house and I feel like it's my fault since I am the one in charge of dinner and there are just some nights that even if I have a menu plan staring me in the face I have no desire to execute it. Anyone else know the feeling?

I need to get out of this slump...not sure if I can or what will bring it about but I am up for any and all suggestions.
Thanks!

After a day at a younger educators conference

2008-10-26T07:15:00.003-05:00

I am feeling so energized!
Myself and 3 other teachers from my school went to a conference yesterday and I have to say that I walked away from each of the 4 seminars that I attended feeling energized and that I learned something valuable not only for my classroom life but my own life as well. Not to mention it was enjoyable being out with colleagues in a different setting.

The one seminar I took the most away from was "Children with Challenging Behaviors". First off the presenter was fabulous. She was not only knowledgeable but also very engaging. Her delivery of a great deal of her material reminded me of a stand up comedian and I certainly mean that in a good way.
She gave me a great deal to think about in terms on the kids in my classroom but also my own Little Man and Girlie Girlie. And finally some ways to deal with the behaviors I am seeing. I am hoping to be able to put alot of that to good use so that I can strengthen my relationship with both my children -- especially as they grow older by the minute.

Alot of the others that I attended centered around kids and the disconnect they have with nature and the outdoors. Which I do agree with. It's certainly not like when I was growing up and played outside nearly every day in the summer until the street lights came on, or spent weeks at my grandparents playing with the neighbor kids in the creek in my gram and pap's back yard. What I took away from all of them was that we as parents need to slow down, relax and revel in the newness of the world through our children's eyes. For many of them they are seeing things for the first time and we need to be engaging and encouraging.
Hopefully I can do many of the things that I learned from my seminars with my own children and those in my class.

I just know that it was a worthwhile day spent in exploration and learning for myself. I am very happy that I attended.

Wondering why I should even try

2008-10-17T16:13:00.002-05:00

I have no place else to put this so here I sit trying to hold back my tears. I honestly just feel as though I have been blind sided.
Over the summer I felt I had forged a close friendship/relationship with a neighbor who I will call *Heidi*. She has a daughter who is only a few months older than Girlie Girlie and the girls enjoyed playing with one another (that's not to say that they didn't argue from time to time as all kids tend to do but overall I really saw them as being fast friends especially when they both started school in a few years). I also enjoyed my conversations with Heidi. It was nice to have some adult time to kick back and talk while the kids played. I honestly felt very close to Heidi as we had shared many intimate details of our lives along with just being able to laugh at ourselves as well.
I understood how much she and her husband value their family time and I thought I was respectful of that by not bothering them when they were outside as a family even though Girlie Girlie wanted to go up and play with her friend. From my stand point, I personally didn't think that an occassional time of our families being together was a big deal but I got the impression that that was something Heidi felt uncomfortable with. So be it.
So over the summer months and into the school year we (Heidi and I) have spent a great many days together just hanging out, trying to get into an exercise routine again, and just some days venting about the trials of being a mom.

For those of you who have followed this blog even on and off know about another neighbor that lives behind me and diagonal to Heidi. She's a little off the mark and if you look through my archieves you will find a post or two devoted strictly to her. Let's just say that she's a person that I once thought of as a friend but in getting to know her better I found that she and I don't mix. So I distanced myself from her for my own sanity. Well this neighbor has gravitated to Heidi and while Heidi and I have had numerous conversations concerning the fact that she's feeling smoothered by this other neighbor and that wants only a casual friendship with her the other neighbor still prosists to the point of what I would consider stalking....by that I mean this woman will call literally a dozen times in a day without ever leaving a message -- Heidi at one point mentioned that she hated picking up the phone for fear of what this other neighbor might want to talk about.

So to make a long story short...if that's even possible. This other neighbor has basically been eluding to the fact that she feels like I have taken Heidi away from her and that when I am around Heidi won't talk to her. And that I won't wave or talk to her. I don't deny that. I don't do those things because I don't want to be associated with this person and that is my right to do so. But please know that I have never once asked Heidi to disassociate herself with this other neighbor -- in all honesty I thought that Heidi wanted to distance herself. Apparently though she feels as though she is in the middle of something between myself and this other woman. My thing is how can you be in the middle of something that for me doesn't exsist?
Everday when it's time to go to the bus stop, Girlie Girlie and I have been going up to Heidi's house so that we all can walk to the bus stop together. The girls play and pick flowers *weeds really. A few times recently Heidi's husband has been home and I honestly thought nothing of doing our normal ritutal since we all had to go to the bus stop anyhow. Crazy of me huh?

Today was no different. Girlie Girlie and I head up to Heidi's house and we end up driving up to the bus stop as we have done the past couple of times due to the weather or for one reason or another. While we sat in her car I could sense something was wrong but I attributated it to just a bad day -- or at least that's the way she made it sound. Well I wasn't home more than 10 or so minutes when I get this e-mail:

This has been on my heart for a while and I need to express my feelings to you. Since I am not the type of person to say things to people, I feel it is easier for me to write them in a note. I really like my personal time and I feel that I am not getting that lately. I used to sit at the bus stop in the afternoon and read every afternoon and I really need that time. I don't get any other time during the day to do that. I

am also still uncomforatble with the whole thing that is going on between you and J*#^t(our other neighbor). As much as I try to separate myself from it, I am still stuck in the middle. I think it would be best for me and my family if I went to the bus stop alone in my car. I can get my reading done and not feel uncomfortable. I have been holding this in for so long and I end up taking it out on my family. J^*$n and I really do value our family time and it bothered me a little that you came over when J^*$n was home a few times this past week. I didn't say anything though. Because we had a prior discussion I thought that you understood that when J^*$n comes home that is our family time. Holding it in spares you from getting your feelings hurt but in the process I end up frustrated and it's not fair to my family. I'm sorry because I don't want to hurt your feelings. I just need to set healthy boundaries for myself and respect myself enough to tell people what I am feeling. I'm sorry that I let it get to this point. I should have told you sooner but I didn't know how. Please understand that I still want to be friends but my family comes first. Thanks for understanding.

Love,

Heidi

I can't stop thinking about this. I am hurt and I wish I wasn't. I wish I hadn't allowed myself to invest so much into a friendship. This is what I e-mailed back:

I thought something was bothering you especially today. I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable as I have said many times that was never my intention.
I didn't realize that my walking to the bus stop with you when J^*$n was home as taking away from your family. I guess from my point of view it was something we had to do anyway why not do it together? For that assumption on my part I apologize.

As for the whole J#^*t(other neighbor again) and me thing I have expressed my feelings on that whole sitituation and while I can see your point in feeling uncomfortable I also have to be honest and say that I feel as though I am getting the short end of the stick. I feel this way merely because from all that you and I have discussed in terms of J$#^t and how you felt about her -- she's not someone you want a relationship with other than a casual one. I felt that the relationship that you and I formed was more than that of a casual one. Perhaps I misread that situatition and if I have, I again apologize.

I will certainly respect your feelings on this. Please know that I will be there for you should you need me in any way but I will keep my distance from now on.

I probably shouldn't have responded but part of me could not. I do feel like because Heidi can be more honest with me than she can be with our neighbor that I am the one getting dumped on. Honestly I will do what I can to respect her wishes, but I will admit to not understanding some of them. From the indepth conversations we have had I feel that a great many of the issues she's expressed are of her own making for the sheer fact that she's about her family but I have some issues with how much her husband is. That's not to say he isn't a great husband and father but I have witnessed that he takes his "me time" while not Heidi rarely does.

So I have to wonder if I am really the person she should be taking this out on.

I don't know if I feel any better or not but at least I put my thoughts out there even if it's only for me.

*Heidi -- not her real name

Feeling very energized!!

2008-10-15T18:22:00.002-05:00

I feel like I have been struggling as of late. Not only I am still saddened by the fact that my best friend moved back to Michigan and I miss her and her family terribly, I miss the school that we were building together our the students we had under our wings, and while I feel that I was called to my new job (both positions) it's still an adjustment for me in the teaching aspect to no longer be working in a multi-age classroom.
Yet lately I have been feeling more energized -- especially after my boss (the preschool director) and I had a long conversation about where she envisions our school headed. She's very much into the Montessori Philosophy and what it can bring to the table educational wise but that it also flows very nicely with the faith based ideas of the Fruits of the Spirit that we also teach.
She and I are on the same page and honestly I feel that she and I together can bring alot of her ideas to fruition. So much so that she has asked me to consider being her assistant director next school year. I felt incredibly honored especially after I heard the heart wrenching story of how things turned out with her last assistant director.
I feel she has a great deal of respect and trust in me and my abilities and that makes me feel even better about having to leave my dreams with my friend behind and forge forward in another different yet similar direction.

If I choose to accept her offer and join her in a total administrative role it will be taking me out of the classroom and in that aspect I am still unsure since I do love my kids. The batch that I have this year are really growing on me and their personalities are wondrous things to see. I mentioned to her the possibility of my doing something as a special with all of the classes that would still allow for me to have contact with the children.
I am thinking something of doing something in the geography/culture area. I know that Girlie Girlie and the other kids from last year loved learning the continent song and learning about the different cultures and people in the different countries. I also thought about doing something in the math area as well. Since at the moment that's where the school is lacking a bit. I'm not sure but I bet that she and I will be discussing it at greater length.

I find myself being excited about my job and the potential that it holds. I know it's going to be a great deal of work and that I will have to find a way to work my family life/responsibilities into that but I have such a strong pull that this is where I am supposed to be that I feel that I will be able to make it work.

Wish me luck, please.....

It's nice to know something is getting through

2008-10-06T12:26:00.002-05:00

If I haven't mentioned it lately...Little Man and I are butting heads on a regular basis. Perhaps it's just the typical mother/son dynamic as he's heading into adolescence. Or it's a male version of PMS who knows...but all I do know is that he and I aren't the best of friends anymore.

Well this afternoon I got a phone call from the individual that runs the youth program at church that Little Man is a part of. She wanted to share something with me that Little Man did last night. During snack time (donut holes) a little boy was crying -- apparently he didn't like cinnamon donut holes and when my Little Man asked him why he was upset the little boy explained the problem and my son chocoholic himself traded the little boy his chocolate donut holes for the other's cinnamon ones. The leader of the group witnessed this act of kindness which was through no prodding on any one's part and felt that she needed to share my son's generous spirit with me.
I have to admit it made my heart swell especially since as of late I haven't really seen that generous spirit much at home. Little Man and Girlie Girlie are constantly arguing with one another and Little Man is far less helpful than he could be. It was really nice to know that even though I don't think I am making an impression on him apparently we have.

Did any one see me doing the happy dance?

2008-09-27T12:36:00.002-05:00

That was me late this morning. Hubby is not I repeat NOT going on strike. His union radified a 4 year contract this morning, finally!

I was on pins and needles at Little Man's Flag Football game this morning waiting for hubby to arrive. The union vote was this morning at 9am. When I saw him walking towards the bleachers, I sort of raised my hands and if to ask how'd it go and he gave me the big thumbs up.

I never let out such a big sigh in all my life. I was truly worried that if they did strike that perhaps some of the newer employees which hubby is wouldn't be asked back when the strike was over and honestly I don't know where that would have left us finanically since at the moment my income wouldn't carry us through.

So another disaster averted by the grace of GOD!

An e-mail I just had to share...

2008-09-22T13:30:00.003-05:00

Mind you this e-mail was sent to me by a 13 year. (the daughter of my best friend)

And she decided a cat would be just fine.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Life boils down to 2 choices:

Should I get a dog?

or have children?

What do you all think?

My mom's in need of prayers once more

2008-09-17T19:22:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I have asked for prayers for my mom but she's in need of them again. This morning she was admitted to West Penn on the advice of her oncologist. She was running a temperature of 102.something (I honestly can't recall) and she was feeling rather bloated so she was assuming that her spleen was enlarged again.

What we know so far is that blood has been drawn and we are waiting on those results along with the results of a CT scan of abdomen/spleen. This was done so it could be compared/contrasted with a similar scan she had done months ago.
From what I was able to gather her oncologist is feeling that the bad white cells that are part of her CLL )leukemia diagnosis are being to take over and he is looking for a way to get them under control. Depending on the results of the bloodwork and CT scan they are considering doing a treatment with a drug called Rotoxin. According to my mom it's some sort of immuno-therapy that will attack those white cells in an effort to get them under control. She didn't mention the words chemotherapy so I am not sure if that's what this treatment would be considered or not -- I am hoping not since I know how frightened she is of that and it possibly compromising her pancreas and making her current issues with diabetes worse.
This treatment would be 3 times a week for 2 weeks starting with a 6 hour treatment tapering off in smaller time frames as they near the end.

I know this all sounds sketchy as best but that's all I really know at the moment. I am asking for prayers for her and again those of you who have prayer chains at your churches please add Sandy Twigger to your lists. My family would greatly appreciate it.

One more debt down the tubes!

2008-09-13T09:59:00.002-05:00

This morning I went to the bank and paid off our second mortgage! It was a red letter day for hubby and I. So now we can move on to paying off my car earlier than its due date. I am hoping to be able to make double payments on that loan and get it taken care of in half the time. Then we can move on to having a fully funded emergency fund. I am hoping to have 6 months of hubby's take home pay set aside when it's all said and done. That would be a very nice nest egg for those unexpected happenings which we all know that because of Murphy's Law always find a way to happen.

I feel very good about how we have handled hubby's increase in salary. While we could have gone out and blown all the extra money on toys we felt we deserved or were owed to us we didn't do that. We took care of a few household expenses that needed to be addressed, had some vehicle maintenance taken care of on hubby's Grand Cherokee to keep our one paid for vehicle in good working condition. But other than that we have put all the extra money onto our second mortgage and it's a great feeling to be on time with all of our other expenses. It's a rare concept for me to not dread doing the bills.

So for all of you out there struggling to get things in your financial order I say a prayer for you and know that if you keep plugging there really is light at the end of the tunnel.

One week under my belt

2008-09-12T18:52:00.002-05:00

Well one week of my duel role has taken place. Admittedly Monday was very hairy and I was having second thoughts about my decision. After 3 days in the classroom and 2 days in the office I am feeling a bit more centered but I will have to say that the office work is more soothing.

I never realized just how different the Montessori environment is from that of a traditional preschool setting. And that's not to say one is better than the other but for me I honestly can say that I miss the multi-age classroom. They dynamic is much different when you have a room full of 2 1/2 - 6 year olds than just one with 3 year olds in it. I grew accustomed to the younger children modeling the older ones and the older ones reminding the littler ones of the rules. Not to mention that I enjoyed the calmness of the Montessori classroom and most definitely the order of things.
I think it also has to do with my missing Mindy a great deal. It's hard for me not to think of what could have been for our school. I do enjoy my teaching partner. She's a very nice woman who's energetic and fun at times though we just have different views on how things should be run. That's not to say I am right or she is....it's just different thought patterns.

It's my greatest desire to do a good job in both areas and I feel that I am at this particular preschool for a reason...mainly my own spiritual growth which is very important to me. I believe that God has opened this door to allow my to grow and change. It's my hope that I can live up to the challenge.

It's been tough adjusting to working 5 days a week again. My nice neat and ordered life while on summer vacation has been thrown for a loop. My weekly chore list isn't getting accomplished in the way I would like. My house is clean and neat but it's just taking me some time to get it all done. I feel like between Little Man's homework/tests and my own teacher prep that I don't get much time to just relax...or I am falling into bed exhausted not really getting to talk with hubby much if at all.
It's going to take me some time to hit my stride in this whole house cleaning/homemaking area again as it did working with Mindy last year. I just wish I was better at the transition.

Girlie Girlie is doing very well at her new preschool. She really likes her new teachers and I feel that Montessori last year prepared her in a way that her peers haven't had. I have heard nothing but great things about her intelligence and her behavior. So that makes me feel really good. Not to mention that I think her not being tied to me 24/7 has most definitely been a plus for the both of us.

It's my hope that this year turns out well for all -- the preschool, myself and Girlie Girlie not to mention that I hope to be asked back for the 09-10 school year.

Looks like I am going to be in the classroom once more

2008-09-02T15:38:00.003-05:00

As of Monday, September 8th, I will not only be an administrative secretary but also a preschool 3's teacher as well. Due to financial reasons one of the current teachers needed to resign and that left an opening. After long discussions and much prayer on the part of the Preschool Director it was decided that I would be taking over the position as a co-teacher.

I am very excited but nervous as well -- I want to do a good job on all levels and I worry that without Mindy to be there as my mentor I will flounder miserably. Mindy disagrees but honestly I am worried. So I guess I am just going to have to work twice as hard to be the best I can be.

So please wish me luck.

Things my reunion taught me

2008-09-01T18:42:00.002-05:00

First and foremost it showcased how glad I am to be married to the man I am and not my ex-husband. And that's not to say that he's a bad guy, he's not at all really, it's just the lifestyle he leads isn't one that I would want to still be leading at this stage of my life. By that I mean I am not a heavy drinker...never really have been. I don't mind having a mixed drink now and again and there was a time in my life when I had been known to tie one on -- but those days have long since passed. Whereas my ex-husband is still stuck in that area and I think it's mainly because that's the lifestyle he watched growing up. His father enjoyed his Budweiser and had a tendency to be a mean drunk now and again and while my ex isn't a mean drunk he does enjoy his alcohol just the same.
I looked at him making a spectacle of himself with his date out on the dance floor and realized that while my hubby has his faults he and I have many of the same values and we want the a better life for our kids. It was nice to see that after many years of my warring heart that I am truly happy where I am.

I also realized that cliques from high school cross over into adulthood for many. I looked around the room at the tables and those seated together and honestly it was like the high school cafeteria all over again. In a way that was comforting but in another much larger way it was rather frightening. It's like so many of my classmates haven't thought outside the box and expanded their horizons at all. That's sort of sad to me.
I want to believe differently about myself. I do think that over these last 20 years I have grown, changed and wanted better for my life. It was funny to see those girls that were glued together in high school running to the bathroom together at the reunion.

I found myself feeling very comfortable yet very alien at the same time. It was great to relive all those great memories from high school and even junior high school for some of us. Things that we did, places that we went, even looking at long ago pictures from class trips. Those were the good old days even though while we were living through them we didn't always think so. I also found myself looking around sometimes and thinking do I really belong here? Kind of a double edged sword in a way.

Ultimately I am glad that hubby and I went. Will I attend another one in 5 or 10 years....well that I am not so sure about but at least I can say I went to one.

Menu Plan Monday

2008-09-01T07:37:00.002-05:00

It's that time of the week again.....thinking about the dinner's for the days ahead -- minus one day this week thanks to the Labor Day holiday. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here's what I will be serving my family for the week of September 1st:

Monday: Labor Day Picnic at the In-Laws; I will be providing a fruit salad

Tuesday: Homemade Pizza, cucumber salad

Wednesday: Baked Fish, Green Beans, Baked Potatoes, Applesauce

Thursday: Chicken Tenders, Mashed Potatoes w/gravy, Corn, Applesauce

Friday: Ham Slice, Hash Brown Potatoes, Corn, Applesauce

Nothing too fancy since it's my last week before returning to work I decided to enjoy myself and make dinner prep on the easy side.

It's hard to believe it's been 20 years!

2008-08-31T13:25:00.002-05:00

That's right 20 years since I graduated from High School -- and tonight's the night we celebrate the momentous occasion with a class reunion. This is my class' 3rd one and the first one that I am actually attending.
Part of me wants to say it flew by and another part of me knows just how many trying times these last 20 years have held. Sort of bittersweet in many ways.
Looking back I was so hell bent on getting out into the world and being "on my own" that I think I missed some fundamental experiences. Also I am pretty sure if I had been more level headed perhaps my career path would have been different. But I allowed my heart to rule me and I ended up where I am.

Okay that's not to say that where I am is bad because truly it's not. I love my life, my kids and my husband -- I just know that the road getting here wasn't easy and who knows if I hadn't lived through all my trials would I be the same person am I now. Would I be a better one or would I be a worse one? Ah the questions of life. LOL!

Tonight will be full of seeing people I haven't seen literally in 20 years and others that I see regularly. I already have pictures of Girlie Girlie and Little Man to share tucked away in my little clutch purse. I will be seeing not only my ex-husband but also an ex-boyfriend that played a big role in my high school years. It's got me a little on edge not so much about what's going to happen really but I have to wonder what many people will think of me after 20 years. I don't think I fared all that badly in the looks department. I mean I am 1.5 years shy of turning 40 and I don't think I look it. That's not to say that I still look 20 or even 25 but I know many that are younger than me who appear older.

I'm finally happy at the place where my life is that's one of the main reasons I decided to attend this time around. For the 5 year and 10 year reunions my life wasn't in a very good place and I didn't feel like sharing that with the masses.
Ultimately I am still on the nervous side. It's hard not to think about those turbulent high school years when your life hinged on so many now unimportant things....or maybe not perhaps that's what worries me the most that many of the former classmates haven't made it out of high school ever yet!

Out of the mouths of babes....

2008-08-28T19:08:00.002-05:00

... too funny for me not to share.

Girlie Girlie and I were laying on the couch watching Diego and she's laying against my chest with her head while her little hand is rubbing me. I asked her why she was rubbing mommy's boobie. Her response was "I love them" (mind you this is a child that was never breast fed -- lol) then she lifts up her head and says "they are like bean bags"

So go figure I am carrying around bean bags just for the convience of my daughter having a place to rest her little head. UGH!

Looking for a financial makeover?

2008-08-26T10:02:00.003-05:00

The Green 3 is offering a wonderful giveaway. There are 3 copies of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover up for grabs. I for one being a true Dave Ramsey follower know that they are well worth the read....even if you aren't drowning in debt he's got some really great advice and he's comical to say the least.

So stop by this post and throw your hat into the ring for your chance to win this great book.

Menu Plan Monday

2008-08-25T08:23:00.004-05:00

...and the first day of school!

Little Man headed off to the bus stop this morning at 8:10am and well the house is silent all but Diego's cartoon voice coming from my tv in the livingroom. I don't know if I will know what to do with the silence -- oh yeah I do ----LOVE IT that's what.

Okay onto my weekly menu:

Monday: Grilled Chicken Salads

Tuesday: Salmon Patties, Baked Potatoes, Green Beans, Applesauce

Wednesday: Pepperoni Pasta Bake, Salad, Garlic Bread

Thursday: BBQ Chicken, Salad, Corn, Applesauce

Friday: Grilled Pork Chops, Juilenne Potatoes, Corn, Applsauce, Rolls

Just call me the Pide Piper

2008-08-22T16:39:00.003-05:00

Today I took the kids to the pool for our last hoorah before school starts on Monday. Little Man invited a friend and the two of them were off and running the minute we set our stuff down. Girlie Girlie and I set up shop at the baby pool where we spent most of the afternoon playing. Well somehow I ended up with the bulk of the kids in the baby pool wanting to play with me. See I was basically the only adult sitting at the edge of the pool watching their child. So I ended up playing volley ball with a huge beach ball, having a pretend tea party, filling up a bottle over and over again so the little boy could laugh at the bubbles and all the while my own child was spraying my back with a squirt bottle telling me she was making me feel better since I didn't feel well. Don't get me wrong I love kids however I don't enjoy being responsible for those that don't belong to me or that I haven't brought with me.

The little boy who was enjoying the bubbles would literally cry for me any time I would get up and walk away from the baby pool....like when either Girlie Girlie or I had to potty. I personally thought that was more than a little strange. This little guy couldn't have been more than 2.
So when it was finally time to head home I take Girlie Girlie's hand and we walk over to the big pool to give Little Man and his friend the 5 minute warning and when I turn around guess who's behind me....yep that little boy who cried when I walked away. He had followed me half way around the big pool. And get this no one was even looking for him. I was appalled. Finally when we got back to the baby pool there was a mom walking around as if she had misplaced something. When she saw me holding his hand she rushed up saying "Kyle -- you know you aren't supposed to leave the baby pool!"
I was thinking to myself for heaven sakes he's 2. He doesn't know better and where on earth have you been for the last 2 hours I have been watching your kid?

She took his hand and basically dragged him away from me -- without even saying thanks to me for watching out for him. Sometimes I wonder why God made some people parents.

Ego boost

2008-08-21T18:51:00.003-05:00

I am a closet fiction writer. I have several fanfics (stories based on various soap/tv/book couples) under my belt. Basically I get an idea and I tailor it to one of my favorite couples. I have done some for Danny & Michelle Santos (Manny) of Guiding Light. A few for Jason Morgan & Elizabeth Webber (Liason) from General Hospital and have been toying with the idea of doing one for Edward Cullen & Bella Swan from Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Series. I even dabbled in a few Role Playing Games where I had a few characters that belonged to me and I worked them into an existing story line.

It's always been a fantasy of mine to actually be a published author or be part of the writing team/plot development team of a soap opera or prime time show. Writing for me has always been a form of escape especially when my life wasn't going the way I wanted it to. You know it was creating something out of nothing and controlling things so that the world would come out the way I saw fit. And admittedly I enjoyed when people read my works and commented as such. It's a nice ego trip to say the least.

Well I haven't been writing in a while probably not since Girlie Girlie was born. When she first arrived there wasn't enough time to sit down and devote what was needed to work out a whole plot and then write the story surrounding that plot. Then I was just uninspired for one reason or another. So I left one story that I was working on Running Down a Dream pretty much hanging unfinished.

Lately I don't know what's gotten into me but I have been feeling like I was missing something -- missing writing actually so I pulled out that long forgotten story and sat down at a blank screen and started creating again. And found that I had really missed it and for the last few days I have been turning out a chapter every other day.

I know people were surprised and shocked even to see my story back up again. Well today I had this comment sent to me as feedback and I have to admit that my ego went soaring.

...I honestly can't tell you how much better the fanfic world is now that you are writing again....

So if you any of you might be interested in seeing what I do with my spare time hope on over to Dangerously in Love and look me up. My stories are under my username LMELMK1970.

Okay so I was pimping myself again. SUE ME! LOL

UPDATE...in various areas

2008-08-20T06:52:00.002-05:00

Diana from Stuck in Elmo's World inquired about how the whole "BIG GIRL" bed was going in one of her comments so I thought I would let you all in on a little secret....Girlie Girlie loves her new bed! She's slept in it every night since hubby and I put it together. She goes to bed without tears, that's not to say that she still doesn't go the "I need a drink route" but that I can handle. She's staying in her bed all night and even if she happens to get up midway through to go to the bathroom she immediately heads back to her own bed without so much as a peep about coming and sleeping on my floor! I am so very excited by that fact. I feel like I have my nights back again. You know that quiet time when I don't have to be anyone's mom and can just be me.

I started my new job last week and honestly I really think I found my place after all of the possiblities I had I chose the right one. Well actually the right one was at Cornerstone Montessori but since that's no longer an option I think I am the next best thing. Orientation was very interesting I got a good feel for all of the teachers and what the preschool is all about. I feel really good about Girlie Girlie going to school there. I think she will come away with not only a good foundation for the start of her education but also a wonderful start on her spiritual one as well and that's very important to me. I am now Adult/Child/Infant CPR & AED certified as well as certified in First Aid. That was part of the orientation as well and since I am going to be subbing in the classes I am glad that I have that. Not to mention that those are good things to know no matter where you are. This week I have been working in the office where I will normally be 3 days a week and I am enjoying it a great deal. I know you all are probably thinking well it's a new job, it's interesting and all of that's true but I really believe the individual who hired me really appreciates my being there and that I will be a great deal of help to her. So I got a really good feeling about where my career is going there. I will either move into the classroom fulltime at some point or I will continue growing in my administrative jobs there with the benefits of summers off. I think it's a win win.

I have found with the fast approaching school year though I am missing Mindy a great deal. I don't know if it's the fact that at this very moment she and I would be working on getting Cornerstone ready for the upcoming year and we would be seeing one another daily that's gotten me in this funk but whatever the reason I am missing her terribly. I feel like a part of me is missing. That's not to say that we don't communicate via phone, e-mail and what not but it's still so different than just being able to pop in whenever either of us wants to or call and say hey I'm coming to kidnap you for dinner. I honestly never thought I would miss someone as much as I miss her. She's really shown me what having a true friend was like even though in the past I thought that I had had just that. She most definitely taught me different. I know that what happened happened for a reason that neither of us can understand but I hope that she knows just how much I treasured her then and now.

Little Man starts school on August 25th. I am torn on one hand so ready for him to go back just so that the random arguing between my kids will finally cease and on the other I am so not ready for all the things that the school year brings -- ie homework, tests, activities. I really think 5th grade is going to be a tough year. Not so much in the actual work itself but in the fact that it's time that Little Man steps up to the plate and becomes more responsible for himself. I truly believe that that's what his teacher will be expecting and actively pushing for. I worry that he's going to fall short since responsibility isn't his strong suit. Wish us both luck okay?

I actively started working on my fiction writing again. I have a story that been hanging out there for quite sometime unfinished and that's not like me. I am normally not one to leave things undone. So this last week I picked it up again and began working on it. And it's actually been really fun to get back into my characters and the world I created. I am still not having as much time to devote to it as I once had but I at least put in an hour a day on it. I feel accomplished by doing that and hopefully sooner rather than later it will be finished.

I do need a good thoughts from those of you that grace me with your presence. Hubby is waiting to hear if his company is going to go out on strike. We will know by Saturday what the verdict is. I am hoping beyond all hope that striking isn't the answer. So please a few prayers and few crossed fingers wouldn't hurt.

Menu Plan Monday

2008-08-17T09:38:00.002-05:00

Here's my menu (posted a day early) for my family's meals for the week of Aug. 18th.

Monday: Out to dinner for Pizza and Wings (a local pub has a Monday night special that is too cheap to pass up)

Tuesday: Kielbasa, Fried Potatoes, Corn, Cucumber Salad, Applesauce

Wednesday: Grilled Ham & Cheese Sandwiches, French Fries, Salad

Thursday: Club Sandwiches, Salad, Fresh Fruit

Friday: Pork Loin, Augratin Potatoes, Green Beans, Biscuits

3 days down...only 362 to go

2008-08-13T16:37:00.002-05:00

...of course now that I have committed that to print I undoubtably just JINXED myself. LOL!

Hubby and I put together Girlie Girlie's big girl bed on Sunday and since that evening she's been sleeping through the night in her new "BIG GIRL" bed. She's actually excited by bedtime now. It's such a relief to not have her crying and wailing when I mention bed now. I do still end up sitting in my room until she falls asleep -- something about me being on the same floor as her helps her relax. I don't mind much at the moment since I am currently reading Stephenie Meyer Twilight Series....I'm on the 3rd book titled Eclipse. It's a great series that I will reserve for review when I have completely finished reading the 3rd and 4th books.

So keep your fingers crossed I will again have an agreeable daughter who goes to bed and stays in bed.

Menu Plan Monday

2008-08-11T12:55:00.003-05:00

Here's what I will be serving my family for the upcoming week:

Monday: Tacos, Cheesy Rice Casserole, Salad & Nachos

Tuesday: Parmesan Chicken *recipe below, Homemade Pasta, Salad, Garlic Bread

Wednesday: Ham BBQ Sandwiches, Tater Tots, Corn Applesauce

Thursday: Breakfast for Dinner -- French Toast, Bacon , Eggs

Friday: Meatloaf w/carrots&potatoes, Cucmber Salad, Applesauce

Parmesan Chicken:

1/2 Cup grated parmesan cheese
1/4 Cup seasoned bread crumbs
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon parsley flakes
1/4 teaspoon paprika
Shake of pepper
1/4 Cup butter (melted)

Mix all dry ingredients together.
Dip boneless chicken breasts in butter; then dip same breast in bread crumb mixture.
Place in greased pan.
Bake 400 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes.

Anxiousness

2008-08-10T08:56:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is my mom's appointment with her hematologist/oncologist. She's been faithly having her blood drawn each week and various levels have been being monitored. As of yet there hasn't been a need for her to return to the doctor early so it appears that the levels the doctor has been watching have been staying in a range that he finds acceptable but I know the idea of returning to his office for a visit has stirred up many fears and anxious moments for my mom over the last few days.
I'm not sure what she's thinking she's going to hear but I know she's got herself geared up for the word treatment and all that that entails. I don't know where I stand in my feelings on it all at the moment. Part of me still feels that she's going to come through this unscathed and will continue with the blood level monitoring and still have the "wait and see" approach. Yet there's a part of me that can't help but worry that perhaps all this waiting in the long run isn't for the best. Yes it's a nice delay but what could that delay cost? I know my mom is considering the same things. So I am again asking for a few well placed prays for her as her appointment tomorrow is fast approaching.

I have a bit of my own anxiousness...but it's more of a better nature. Tomorrow I start my new job. We have a 2 week training/orientation period...2 weeks off then school starts for the students as of 9/8/08. I'm pretty much excited about what the job entails. I think I can do a good job and have the best all of the worlds I had been hoping for...but like with any new job there's always that anxiousness about the unknown. How will I be received by those long standing employees, will I live up to the expectations that those who hired me have, can I move past some of my old work habits and forge a better work ethic? All those questions and more are running through my head at the moment.
Also it's going to be tough tomorrow waking up and getting moving by 7am. I haven't done that in a while and neither have my kids. So I feel a bit of stress when it comes to that. Not to mention I want Girlie Girlie to be received well into her new class. Last year she had an advantage with me being in the room and Mindy loving her so much. This year it will be completely different and I worry how she's going to act. Not to mention how those actions will reflect on me as not only a parent but an employee. I guess it's a waiting game.

I'm also suddenly very much missing my best friend. That's not to say that I haven't missed her since the day her and her family left but lately it's been magnified to a larger degress. It's like there is an ache I can't seem to make go away. We talk on the phone when we can but lately it seems like we play phone tag and talke to one another's machines more than the real people. I desperately miss just being able to pop over to her house and hang out. I miss the laughter and fun that we had daily. There's a big hole in my life and I don't know how to fill it.
I have other friends and some of them very good ones yet it's still not the same. I miss my Mindy -- and her family. I miss my best friend.

I feel like I've worked a 24 hour shift....

2008-08-05T19:24:00.002-05:00

....oh wait I do!

I never expected to be completely exhausted by a mere 3 year old. I can handle the energy and wanting to play that's not really the problem, but what is is her unyielding stubborn streak! When Girlie Girlie wants something look out there's no getting around it. Like tonight hubby took her and Little Man up to my brother in law's property where she got to jump on a trampoline and enjoyed it a great deal. Well we have a small version of one....think exercise trampoline. Well she asked me to get it out from the basement and at first she was all excited when I put it in the grass but instantly was less than thrilled with it since it obviously didn't have the same effect when jumped on.
She starts bawling and screaming at the top of her lungs about wanting a big trampoline. She was relentless about it. I basically just ignored her telling her that we didn't have a big one to which she replied we had to buy one. Not happening! Both hubby and I refuse to give into all of her whims....especially when they come in the form of a tantrum.
Well the crying and screaming continued -- I told her we were going inside and of course the screams got louder if that was even possible. I cleaned up the yard and brought all the stuff inside all the while she reverberated the neighborhood.
Once inside the same continued. I told her that I was going to get ready for bed and she could sit on a chair until she was done crying and then she could come upstairs and we would get her ready for bed as well. For 15 minutes she sat downstairs crying. It was unbelievable to me. Finally when I go down to see her she's got a chair from the kitchen table pulled up to the back door kneeling on it looking longingly at the little trampoline talking about how we need a big one. If I hadn't been so frustrated I might have chuckled. UGH!

I sweat it took at least 30 minutes to get her to calm down to the point where not every other word out of her mouth was "big trampoline".

HELP!!!!!

I am at my wits end. Little Man so didn't present these challenges. I don't know if it's because she's a girl or if it's because she is the second child or a combination of those 2 things or something completely different but all I do know is -- I AM EXHAUSTED!!!

Any thoughts? They would be a greatly welcomed.

Menu Plan Monday

2008-08-04T10:34:00.003-05:00

This is my first attempt at the whole Menu Plan Monday even though I have been doing a weekly menu plan for many many months now. I thought I would join in finally and post my family's menu.

Monday: Cheeseburgers, baked beans, cucumber salad & applesauce

Tuesday: Grilled Cheese, salad, applesauce

Wednesday: Pizza out with friends

Thursday: Turkey Breast, mashed potatoes/gravy, corn, applesauce, rolls

Friday: Kielbasa, fried potatoes, cucumber salad, applesauce

Saturday & Sunday: Leftovers

Hodge Podge

2008-08-03T09:49:00.003-05:00

Well life around here has returned to semi-normal. By that I mean all last week we were a one child family again. It was sort of weird in some ways and peaceful in others.

Little Man was at church camp all last week. My mom and I picked him up on Friday afternoon. Girlie Girlie was happy to see her big brother for all of 15 minutes then their usual behaviors toward one another returned. LOL!

Last week was filled with a trip to an amusement part for Girlie Girlie, myself and a little friend from last year's preschool. It was a nice day spent with friends watching the girls run, jump and play. I don't think we were even a 1/2 mile away from the park before both girls were sound asleep in the back seat. We also had a few play dates with the neighbors which was nice for both mommy and daughter. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with adults while my children play and have a good time.

I am gearing up for the start of work and school. Little Man's closet and drawers have been purged of all clothes too small or just not been worn in a year to make way for a few new items to take their place. Girlie Girlie isn't in need of much in the way of clothes but did get a new princess lunch box for school and we have to set out to find a tote bag of some sort for her items from school.
I too am interested in updating my wardrobe a bit. Even if it's just a couple of new shirts and what not. Since I will be going back into an office setting at least 3 days a week I thought a couple nice button downs would do be good.

Hubby is working the weekend so I am trying to fill up the hours he's gone with fun things for the kids to do while trying to get my own work accomplished. I'm half successful -- I think.
We are going to go to the pool this afternoon since it's already sunny and quite warm outside. That will take up a few hours and by the time we head home hubby will be pulling in behind us.

Other than that my life is pretty sedate. We are working on Girlie Girlie's bedroom. I ordered her big girl bed, we located a reasonably priced twin size mattress all we need now is to burrow my father-in-law's truck to pick it up. I found a nice bed in a bag set that will coordinate with the color purple she's looking for. She's big on Dora right now but I am trying to stay away from a completely themed room since I know sooner or later Dora will not be her fancy. I found wall clings that we can just put up and then take down when she's (Dora) is no longer Girlie Girlie's fav.
Little Man wants to redo his room as well and part of me is leaning towards allowing him to. I'm just not sure what he's looking to do and being 11 years old it could be a wide variety of things.

I'm struggling right now with all the things I would like to do to the house we currently live in or if we should bite the bullet and end up looking for another house that would offer us a gameroom and those amenities like a larger kitchen and a neighborhood that would lend itself to Little Man being able to roam and be with his friends. I'm still really torn.

Okay now that this post doesn't have any cohesiveness to it -- I guess the title really does fit.

Spending time as a family

2008-07-27T08:38:00.002-05:00

Hubby's family has a camp about an hour or so away from where we live and while hubby and Little Man go there often and spend the night....I have not. I am adverse to the whole not being able to shower or use an inside restroom so I tend to stay away. But yesterday we as a family took a day trip to camp. I have to admit to having a great deal of fun with the kids.

We took a ride through a local state park that's close to where camp is. They offer cabins for rent and a shower facility. I would consider making a long weekend there with the kids since there is a little man made beach, we could ride bikes and go hiking. I think it would be a lot of fun for us all. There is also another place even closer to camp where we could rent cabins that also has in inground pool for the complex. It would be a nice getaway.

We took the kids to see a trout hatchery. It was so cool feeding the fish especially the larger breeder fish. Both Little Man and Girlie Girlie loved how all the fish frenzied around the pipe as the food came tumbling down. At camp we were able to take a walk in the woods and pick some blueberries (I actually found a fruit my rather picky son liked!)
After that we went to a local establishment that has a resturant, but a wildlife preserve. We got to see wolves, bobcats, cougars, various types of deer, a black bear, many red foxes and well there were too many animals to list. Girlie Girlie and Little Man really enjoyed walking around checking out all the animals and feeding those that we were able to.
Of course then there was getting of ice cream. How can a family go anywhere in the summer and not partake of ice cream right? The kids also played 18 holes of miniature golf. It was Girlie Girlie's first time and I have to admit that she drove her big brother crazy with her lack of following the rules. LOL!

It was a really nice fun day for us all. It's actually the first one we have really ever done since before hubby got his new job the money that we used for this day trip would have been put towards groceries. I am really looking forward to doing more things like that in the future. Those are memories that my children and us as parents can carry with us.

I am employed....

2008-07-24T19:05:00.002-05:00

...well I will be soon.

I finally decided on the position that will work best for me and Girlie Girlie.
I accepted an administrative position at the preschool that was part of the Presbyterian church. For me it was the best of all worlds. The original teacher position was filled by another candidate but the director of the school counter offered me with a part time administrative position that would still be part time, it would allow Girlie Girlie to go to school there at a discounted price, and it would also allow for me to sub in the classroom when needed. So not only do I get to put my strong suit to good use (administrative skills), I still get to be a part of the children's lives which is very important to me.
The director also informed me that I would be eligible for training and classes just as any other teacher at the school so I could certainly work my way into the classroom when the time warranted it. That's very important to me since I do very much enjoy playing a part in shaping the children's lives.

So I will start work the week of August 11th for some various training and work through August 21st. During those hours that I will be working childcare is provided for both Girlie Girlie and Little Man free of charge to all of the teachers with children. That was such a big plus for me since I was wondering what I would do with them both for that many days in a row. Then I will be off again until the week of September 8th when the school year starts. My schedule will be Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 9-12. Girlie Girlie will be in a class of peers during that time.

I will not only be able to get Little Man off the bus in the afternoon but will also be able to put him on in the morning. I don't know how my mom is going to react to that but I think at least being able to get him off the bus in the afternoon will make for a much easier afternoon transition.
I also don't have to worry about any snow days. The preschool closes for those in accordance with the local district is services but the director also told me that there are times when she will close even when the local district isn't because she feels the diverse directions her teachers come from and some of the students warrants being closed. I will have 2 weeks off during the Christmas Holiday, 3 paid sick days, 7 paid holidays, and basically work from September thru May.

The drive is a bit farther than I wanted to go but in the end I truly believe that one con is outweighed by all the pros I mentioned above. I feel confidant in my decision finally -- especially after speaking to the director again.

So I guess I am employed.

Are you a Positive Mom?

2008-07-23T16:45:00.002-05:00

That's the question posed by IowaMom from "Because I said so'

Check out her lastest post here where she offers the book for free in a random drawing to be done on Friday, August 1st.

Go give her a shout out and let her know that you heard it from me Mama of 2 at Confessions of a Stressed Mom.

Thanks.

Veteran moms out there

2008-07-19T20:08:00.002-05:00

Hey if any of you can help my sister muddle her way through what it means to be a new mom I would greatly appreciate it. You can visit her blog here.

She's looking for suggestions, encouragement and just a general sense that she's not going completely insane.

Thanks in advance.

A few choices

2008-07-18T19:46:00.002-05:00

How do you know where you are supposed to be heading?

I have had several interviews -- several promising actually, but that's leaving me with a bit of a dilemma. Okay let me preface this by saying none of these interviews have brought on a formal job offer per say but I got a good feeling so that leaves me with trying to decide which way I might want to go. They are all about the same money wise so that's really not the issue. Driving distance however is -- 2 of the jobs are between 45-50 miles round trip and with the price of gas as it is that's a major consideration not to mention the wear and tear on my vehicle.
The other 2 opportunities are much closer between 15-20 miles round trip. But they are both day cares and that's a bit of a hesitation for me one actually more than the other. And the one that's a bigger hesitation wouldn't allow for me to have my summers off which is a real sticking point for me. I just feel that in the summer my kids deserve to be able to enjoy those precious few months of good weather and sunshine -- not to mention that that's a bit of a reward for me working full time all the other times of year.

I feel as though I don't know where I am supposed to be. I want to allow God to lead me where I should be yet I feel the control freak in me trying to second guess it all and decide.
Out of all 4 interviews that I have gone on....I feel that 3 of them would be a good fit for me. I feel as though I would be valued and have a place to grow and gain more and more experience which is really my ultimate goal. 2 of those 3 are the ones that are the greatest distance from my home. One is full time with the summers off and one is part time 3 days a week 3.5 hours a day with also the summers off. The full time job would cost me about $60 a week in gas at the current $4.00 a gallon and the part time position would cost me about $36 a week in gas.

The last of the 3 is the most economically in gas being about $20 a week but there would be a cost to me to bring Girlie Girlie with me since she would be taking up a paying spot. In that instance it might cost me nearly 2/3 of my salary....not sure that that's quite cost effective on one hand but on the other I would be getting experience, being able to take classes and training so that eventually I would work my way to an early education degree.

I am really very confused as to where I am supposed to be. All the options really allow for my growth and development. While 2 of them provide nearly free or free schooling for Girlie Girlie and the closest one does not. Money isn't the biggest deciding factor in all of this now that hubby got his new job yet I feel that if I am working I would like my income to go towards attaining our financial goal and that's not just to acquire more stuff it's to pay off my car and our mortgage early.

I most certainly will be seeking God's guidance and asking that his will be done and ultimately that's all I can do. However given all that I mentioned above what would you all do? What in your opinion appears to be the best option? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

There's a reason I moved out at 19!

2008-07-15T16:32:00.002-05:00

Well I made it back from my vacation. At 2:36pm I was in the safe confines of my own home. Did you hear the cheers resounding all over the world?!?

This had to be one of the most trying times of my life. I almost could say it was 9 days from hell if there hadn't been some fun times thrown in the mix. I honestly struggle with my children's behavior, especially Girlie Girlie, as of late -- but I will save that for another post. Yet when you add my parents into the mix I feel like I am going to lose all grip on sanity. As we were making the final leg of our trip this early afternoon a padded room was looking rather good - if only for the silence. LOL!

My parents and I see eye to eye on very little and what I tend to blow off as being just kids -- well my mother especially tends to magnify to the umpteenth degree to the point that she and I are very tense and pretty much not speaking. It was so bad last night that when we stopped in Fredricksburg, VA I actually got the kids and I our own room knowing that I just couldn't, wouldn't spend another night with them.

Please don't misunderstand, I love my parents and I am thankful every day that I have them in my life. It's just being in that close proximity for that length of time was more than this stressed out mom could take. I am glad to have the distance at the moment and I won't be rushing anytime soon to spend a great deal of time with either of my parents with my children in tow.

I will have pictures of my sister's baby to post shortly once I get them off my camera and onto the computer.
I also have 2 interviews this week. I am hoping to have a job for the new school year secured shortly. Even though I just heard that President Bush extended unemployment benefits for 13 more weeks so I could potentially collect until mid March but I am thinking a job before that would be a better. So I will keep you all posted.

I'm about ready for home

2008-07-12T09:28:00.002-05:00

We have a couple more days in SC and while I am thoroughly enjoying getting to know my niece and seeing my sister; I'm ready to go home. I miss my husband more than I ever expected to and while Little Man is doing well with the whole vacation scene Girlie Girlie is getting a little out of sorts. She's asking when she can see daddy and Ozzy (the dog).

It's also not an easy thing to be on vacation with my parents. While I know they love their grandchildren I have to say that they prefer them in smaller doses than they have been getting them at the moment. And I am trying to keep things down to a dull roar but many of you know how tough that can be.
Not to mention as much as I love both my parents there is a reason that I moved out when I was 18 years old. We don't see eye to eye on the way things are handled. What's really nothing to me is a major thing to them especially my mom. I have been praying alot for guidance, strength and tolerance and I hope to be handling as well as I can. But I am ready for my own home again.

I think the next vacation we take hubby will have to come or we won't be going either. Sorry I sound so sour when I am in a beautiful place in the country.

Call me Aunt Mama of 2

2008-07-10T17:23:00.002-05:00

After much coaxing my sister's little girl was finally born. A healthy 6lbs 14ozs. ; 19 1/4 inches in length; at 3:06pm on 7/8/08.

I felt glad for her that even though she was induced the labor went smoothly and rather quickly. I had heard horror stories of inductions being long and sometimes even turning into emergency c-sections. I was happy to know that that wasn't the case for my sister. Even though the little one seemed very happy and content in her personal water bed inside mom's belly the potocin kicked in and did it's job. My sister started pushing a little after 2pm and in about an hour theres she was.

I will be sure to have pictures of the little one shortly. Right now I am using the hotel computer and honestly I have enough trouble downloading pictures to my own pc at home I don't dare try it here.

5 more days and Girlie Girlie, Little Man and this Mama of 2 will be back home and all will be normal again.

Leaving on a jet plane...

2008-07-06T12:06:00.002-05:00

...let's make that a van rather.

Tomorrow this time my parents, me and the kids will be on the road heading towards SC -- with an over night stop in Fayetteville, NC, since 14 hours straight is too much for any of us to do. I don't know which was more taxing - trying to get all of our stuff together for the trip or getting things here at home ready for hubby to be all alone for nearly 9 days. Really it's a toss up. LOL!

For us and the trip -- I packed a nice art box full of new crayons, markers, colored pencils, coloring books, and blank paper to keep the kids active. Little Man loves to draw and create so I am hoping that that will allow him ample things to do. Of course he's also packed his gameboy and every game he owns but that will only last as long as the change on the game does.
The van we are renting has a DVD player so of course we packed kid friendly DVDs and a few for me and my mom for those times when she and I are stuck in the back of the van.
Of course we have packed a variety of snacks for both child and adult along with a cooler full of drinks. I am hoping that that will make the trip tolerable. I am not a big fan of car travel especially the distance we are traveling.

For hubby -- I made sure that he had enough lunches for work for the days we will be gone -- including extras like chocolate pudding and brownies that I made this morning for him. Not to mention that I have the freezer stocked with man friendly frozen foods for him to have for dinner.
Like I said alot of work if you ask me. LOL!

Still no news on the arrival of my niece. I have been talking to my sister almost daily and I have a feeling that she's getting more than a bit annoyed with all the phone calls she's been getting to see if there has been any progress on the labor and delivery front. But it's so hard when she's so far away....but then again even if she lived closer I still think that we would be calling to check in.
From the looks of it she's going to be induced the day we arrive. So hopefully by the time that we get to SC she will have had the baby since her scheduled induction is at 6:30am.

I most likely will be out of touch for the time we are away. I might hop on at my sister's when I get the chance but who am I kidding right -- there's no one in the blog world waiting with baited breath to hear from me any how.

13 days and counting

2008-07-04T13:17:00.002-05:00

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!

Today marks the 13th straight day that hubby has been working. It's mandatory maintenance shut down when all the mechanics get a chance to work on the machines without interfering with the regular work schedule. I had a nice cook out planned for us when he was supposed to get home only to have him call and say he's working over until 7:30pm. Not really sure I want to eat hot dogs, burgers, baked beans and corn on the cob at 8pm. Perhaps we will put off our 4th celebration dinner until tomorrow -- sort of same time same channel thing.

We (me, Little Man & Girlie Girlie) are going to be heading to SC with my parents on Monday. So I have been busy getting things together for our trip. It's hard to really pack when it's a few days away and a lot of the stuff we are still needing at the moment but yet I don't want to be rushing around Monday morning grabbing everything since I know I am sure to forget something that way.

I am looking forward to being on vacation. It will be a little different since my sister won't really be up for going to the beach with us (she's a day overdue to have her first baby) and if she doesn't have her before the 8th she will be induced the day we arrive. I am hoping her little one decides to arrive prior to our getting there only since my sister will have a 48 hour hospital stay so that will cut into the time we can spend with her. So if anyone knows any baby labor chants please feel free to pass them along. LOL!

Well I guess I better get to figuring out how to occupy my kids for the next 5 hours. UGH!

Out of the mouth of babes

2008-06-29T15:05:00.002-05:00

Today while standing in line waiting to pay for a few purchases Girlie Girlie turns around and looks at the man standing behind us and says "he's a pirate". Okay admittedly to a 3 year old he probably did look like a pirate....he had the bandana on his head and a hoop earring in each ear. My thought was my daughter watches too much Dora. LOL!

Thankfully the man laughed and while I was more than a bit embarrassed he seemed to take it good naturedly.

Looking for a solution....aka advice

2008-06-28T10:11:00.002-05:00

This scenario truly does involve a neighbor of mine (it's not really about me in disguise)

Okay this neighbor who for this story I will call Trudy has 2 little girls one aged 3 and one aged 7. They are a great family who are very steeped in their on going relationship with God. Trudy and I have had many faith based discussions. I have grown to value her insights and just the ability to openly discuss God and The Bible. So here's the dilemma:

Neighbors of Trudy's that are catty corner across the street have some domestic issues. What we know to be true the wife has issues with alcohol to the point of being in rehab at least once that we know of and while their is no hard and fast evidence that the husband uses drugs I can't but feel that that is the case. He's the kind of man that when you look at him something in your gut just creeps you out.
So Trudy has a very small yard...actually no real yard to speak of for her kids to play in. They end up playing out front on the sidewalk. Which puts them in close proximity of the above mentioned other neighbors. Which can be quite the problem in the fact that this family tends to take their domestic issues to the outside using foul and vulgar language that Trudy find offensive to herself but mostly her young children. And I can't say as I blame her. I am lucky enough to be at least 1/2 a block away from these neighbors and haven't had to witness these displays. But I have actually seen the above mentioned husband strike his wife with his car knocking her to the ground. As I said this couple has some major issues.
These outbursts have gotten to be a regular thing that Trudy has been having to deal with -- to the point that she's starting to feel like a captive in her own home. I feel for her really I do but I am lacking in a way to handle thing without possibly making the situation worse. My gut tells me that this issue needs to be addressed only because she shouldn't feel like a captive in her own home. Yet that being said it's a touchy situation seeing as I can't help but feeling as if the people in question could be somewhat volatile. And honestly that's a bit scary.
If I felt that she would get satisfaction by going to the borough that would be my first suggestion but given what I do know about our town I have a feeling her family would be the ones looking like the ones in the wrong.
If we had a full time police officer rather than a part time one I would suggest calling the police as soon as the incident starts. But that isn't really going to work either since by the time an officer would arrive the altercation more than likely would be over.
I was thinking they could try talking to them and as tactfully as possible let them know that what they do in the privacy of inside their home is one thing but when they bring it outside then it becomes an issue that the neighborhood must deal with and that They (Trudy & her husband) prefer to raise their children minus the rather vulgar language that they sometimes hear coming from them.

I honestly think no matter how it is handled it's going to turn out poorly. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Has anyone ever dealt with something on this level and dealt with it successfully? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

a 1/3 of the summer nearing a close

2008-06-23T19:45:00.002-05:00

It's hard to believe looking at the calendar that we are starting the last full week of June already. For me it always seems like when you hit the 4th of July it's all down hill after that. That makes me sort of sad...if only for the fact that we wait so long for these precious 3 months and they are gone by all too quickly.

On the job hunt front:
I have had a couple of interviews and one upcoming this Thursday. One was very promising, the other wasn't something that would work for my family situtation. The mandatory hours were from 9am - 6pm and there wasn't any flexibility in having summers off to be with my family. Not to mention that it was a daycare/preschool so there weren't any provisions for inclement weather and such. I really enjoyed talking with the director though. She was a great woman and she did ask me if I would be interested in subbing there if the need arose and I told her that I most definitely would be interested in doing that. She was very understanding about why I was unable to take the Toddler 2 Teacher position and that made me feel good. It was like she got me and what being able to be with my family means to me.

The other position is for a Teacher in a multi-age classroom (which I am already accustomed to from Montessori). There would actually be 2 classes and 3 teachers.... 1 teacher for each class then a floater teacher to go between the two rooms. I am thinking that would be my position. The director of this school made me feel right at home and she was very interested in what I could bring to the table with my Montessori experience so that was a major plus not to mention that she was willing to work with me in terms of having my summers off and allowing my hours to work within my needs for getting Little Man to and from school. Another thing that made me exteremely pleased was that even though the facility is also a daycare it does do closures for imclement weather. They follow a different district's school closing schedule than my own but even at that at least I know when the weather is horrible I won't have to tackle terrible road conditions in an attempt to get to work.
She also mentioned an education program that would pay for me to get my Early Childhood Certificate. I believe she called it CAD. The program and her center would pay for my education and all she asks in return is a 2 year commitment from me to her facility. On the surface it sounds like a good trade off especially since in 2 years or so Girlie Girlie will be ready for at least kindergarten and I will have the degree and experience under my belt to look elsewhere. But who knows I might end up really loving it there.
I am to call her again when I return from my trip to SC from seeing my sister and her new baby (which is still being quite cozy in her belly). But I feel that from my conversation with her that come August I could most certainly have a job. I just wish it was closer to where I live than where it is. It's 20 miles one way so 40 miles round trip is a bit more than my 26 round trip from last year.
I am still looking for opportunities closer but I am keeping all of my options open.

Hubby has been working a great deal of overtime at his new job. He's doing his best to make a good impression on those around him especially since he can't join their union until he's been employed 60 days. He's about 1/2 way there right now. This coming week is a maintenance shut down so he will be working about 14 days start. That's going to be hard on him and us really. The kids miss him on the weekends as do I. Not only do we do things as a family but it's nice to have another adult around to pick up the slack.
Soon after that is over me and the kids will be heading to SC for 10 days with my parents to visit with my sister and my new niece....I should say my only niece. I am looking forward to getting away but I am not looking forward to the long drive. I had really wanted to fly but it was cost prohibitive for 5 of us to do that as well as rent a car when we arrived in SC. So wish me luck on a 14 hour drive with 2 kids and 2 sometimes cranky adults (my parents). LOL!

It's just like riding a bike

2008-06-17T19:40:00.002-05:00

For 3 days this week I have returned to my old job at the tennis club. The woman who took my job when I originally resigned is on vacation this week and she asked me if I would be interested in subbing for her while she was gone?

I vividly remember how taking vacation in the summer at The Club amounted to much stress upon returning so I told her that I would be glad to come in and help her out. So Monday I worked a full day during normal business hours. It was so nice to come back and see so many familiar faces especially my old boss. I have missed her very much and it was wonderful to spend the day with her. It was also fun to see that some things never change. By that I mean that the workings of the club especially in the summer months are forever the same. And then I am working 2 evenings for 4 hours each. That way I can keep the woman I am subbing for up to date on at least the data input for the member billing which at this time of the year is hefty to say the least.

As much as I miss my old boss and dear friend, I don't know if I could work in an office setting anymore. In this past year I have grown very accustomed to being in the classroom with little kids. And admittedly I really enjoyed it...far more than sitting behind a desk. Perhaps I wouldn't mind doing both...sort of like I did for Cornerstone. Being in the classroom along with making sure the books stayed in tact. Kind of the best of both worlds so to speak.

I have 2 interviews tomorrow with different childcare/preschools. I am still on the fence about their distance from when I live with the price of gas ever on the rise, but I know that I need to explore all of my options to see what might work or not work. So wish me luck okay?

Should I pedal or should I steer????

2008-06-15T18:57:00.002-05:00

Those had to be Girlie Girlie's thoughts as we took her tonight for her first attempt at riding the two wheeler (with training wheels) that mommy and daddy got her for her 3rd birthday.

She looked so cute decked out in her Dora helmet sitting atop that 12" Huffy bike. And the first time she actually used the pedals and made the bike move she was beside herself with GLEE!! But then came having to steer too...and since she seemed to be more fasinated with watching the front wheel turning as she pedaled than actually watching where she was going. But by the end of the time we spent riding she had pretty much gotten the hang of it. In fact she was more than a little PROUD of herself.
So will be heading back down to ride bikes tomorrow evening when hubby gets home from work. I think she's hooked.

I could really get used to being a SAHM

2008-06-14T08:25:00.002-05:00

My house is clean, my laundry is done, there's a home cooked meal on the table every night and my kids are relatively happy. Being a SAHM suits me I think....LOL.

The stress level in my house has gone down tremendously since summer arrived and I stopped working. Perhaps it's just my stress level that's taken a nose dive. I feel like I have enough time to actually keep my house tidy and still devote the time to my children they deserve. That's a tough balance to achieve when I am working. I give it my best shot really but in the end something gets the short end of the stick.

We have been very lucky with hubby getting his new job that it truly allows for me to even remotely consider staying home. Hubby wants me to get a job...and I understand why...we want to continue on with our debt snowball and build our fully funded emergency fund in Dave Ramsey's baby steps. Any money that I would bring in from a job would be gravy really to get those things accomplished at a much quicker pace. But I still wish that our financial progress didn't hinge on my bringing in a salary.

Speaking of the job front....I had my phone interview the other day and it sounded promising. It was a preliminary interview and in a few weeks if I am a good fit for the available positions I will be called for a face to face interview.
This Wednesday I have 2 interviews at 2 different preschool/daycares. Both of them are more of a driving distance than I really wanted to have but I figure that at the moment I should keep all of my options open. There are also a few more local opportunities that I am hoping will come to pass. It's basically just a waiting game. And you all know how patient I can be....NOT!

Overall though I am really enjoying having time to do things for me and my family. I have gotten back into my exercise routine and feeling great about that. In a few weeks a friend and I are going to join Curves for their 30 day challenge. I hope with that and my cardio at home that I will drop those extra pounds and tone up the way I want to.

I hope all of you are enjoying your summer as much as I am.

A little bit of this & A little bit of that...

2008-06-10T20:31:00.003-05:00

Update on my mom:

She had her appointment with her new oncologist/hematologist last Wednesday. It was such a welcome change for her -- both the doctor and his staff took the time my mom needed (an hour each....unheard of huh for a doctor and his staff to take 2 hours with a patient) to feel important to him. According to both my mom and dad this man and his staff really listened to her and asked questions of her to gain the full understanding of what has been happening with her over the last year just not the most recent months.
There is still a good chance that she does indeed have CLL, yet this doctor wasn't so quick to hit the panic button and immediately suggest a regimen of chemo that according to her new doctor might not even have been the correct protocol.
As it stands right now, my mom will be having weekly blood draws to monitor the ups and downs of her different numbers and if those weekly blood work yield reasonable results she will not have to go back for a follow up visit until sometime in August. That's what we all are hoping for, however if the numbers jump around too much for his liking then she will have to go back sooner than August.
She's still not completely out of the woods nor has she been given a clean bill of health but this has given her much needed hope and optimism. So please continue to keep her in your prayers. She and I do greatly appreciate it.

Summer vacation:

Well we are 3 days into summer vacation and honestly I am loving it!! The idea of not having to rush around each evening preparing for the next day is such a relief of stress. My house is clean, the laundry is done and the kids and I are having fun together. I know what you are thinking it's only day 3....LOL! I know this about myself though....I do better with less stress. I tend to stress myself out unnecessarily alot of the time but still when I don't have it I am a much easier person to be around.
We have play dates scheduled, trips to the pool, VBS, summer church camp and a trip to Charleston, SC as soon as my sister's baby decides to make her entrance. It's going to be a fun packed couple of months that will be over before we know it or want it to be. But for now I am just really enjoying the freedom.

Job hunt:

I have a phone interview with Bright Horizons tomorrow morning. They are looking for an Associate Teacher for a school about 20 or so minutes away from me. I also have an interview next Wednesday with a daycare/preschool looking for assistants. I am trying to make an interview with another daycare/preschool that's interested in talking with me for a Toddler 2 Teacher that same day so I can save a bit on gas by making only 1 trip rather than 2.
I have a couple irons in the fire that I am hoping will also come to pass. I guess I will just have to wait and see. I will admit to being spoiled by my short commute this past school year. It was great to put less than 1000 miles on my car a month. The couple job prospects I mentioned are some distance from my house and with the price of gas I figured just to commute back and forth to work not counting any other driving I would have to do would cost me around $60 a week and that's if gas stays around the $4.00 mark which I am betting it won't. So I am going to have to pick and choose what comes my way carefully. I am collecting unemployment at the moment and can do so until about mid December if need be. But I would much rather have a job prior to that running out.

Hubby's new job:

That's been going really well. He's been asked to work overtime a few times now and he's taken them up on the offer so not only are his paychecks wonderful it's also showing his superiors his willingness to work and work hard. He will be starting school in the fall for his apprenticeship. It will be an adjustment again for the family and him to be back in school. While I was pregnant with Girlie Girlie he was going to HVAC school. It made me feel like a single mom at the time and I am sure it will again but in the long run it will be well worth it.

My best friend has gone:

Monday at 2pm, Mindy and her family headed back to Michigan. We had spent the better part of the weekend helping them get the last of their belongings packed up and ready for the move. It was proving to be rather difficult for her 2 older kids (11 & 12 years old). They like me we having trouble with the idea of leaving friends.
I was proud of myself I didn't cry -- even though it took all I had not to. Girlie Girlie is still not completely understanding the fact that Mindy is gone and that we won't be going back to school with her next year. We saw a car like Mindy's husband's today while we were out running errands and she said to me...."that looks like Mr. Dale's car" it broke my heart and my mom's too.
I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that she's gone. And even though I know that we can talk anytime we want, it's still very different and it hurts. There's no way around that feeling. I hope through it all though that she knows how much I love her and her family.

Tomorrow's going to be tougher than I thought

2008-06-04T20:54:00.003-05:00

We are having our end of year family picnic for the preschool tomorrow at a local park that has a great play area for the kids. And up until this morning I thought I would handle letting go of all the little kids who have come into my life because of the school fairly well. Think Again....

This morning one of my favorites (I know you aren't supposed to have favorites..but we all do) we affectionately named her "Little Bit" came in with our end of the year presents a day early. By the time I was done opening all of it and reading the card I was a blubbering fool.
Little Bit's mom went out of her way to do a thoughtful creative gift for both Mindy and I. It really showed how much she thought of the both of us and how we had touched her daughter's life.
I am sure that not all of the gifts will be a well thought out or creative and really if I didn't get another gift at all that would be just fine. It's the thought of leaving all of these little ones behind that's breaking my heart. I was so looking forward to watching them grow and develop through the Montessori Method and come into their own. Most of them I am sure I won't see again. Girlie Girlie has made friends with a few of them so I hope to do a play date or two but even that still won't be the same.

The end of school is so bitter sweet for me. I have been looking forward to the end if only for the fact that I can spend the summer with my kids and enjoy all they have to offer. But Mindy and her family ran into some trouble and will be leaving much earlier than they intended to original. By much earlier I mean Monday, June 9th. I don't know how I am going to say good-bye to her and her family. The mere thought of it is unfathomable. She's so much more than just my best friend. She's almost like my other half. Jokingly she calls me her "woman husband" and I guess that's how I feel about her too. I know that their lives are taking them in this direction for a reason I just wish that direction just also wasn't taking them away from me and my family.

I will have to remember to pack the tissues and keep the crying to a minimum. Along with telling each and everyone of them how special they have been and how they have touched my life.

Reconnecting

2008-06-03T18:55:00.002-05:00

Friendships go through seasons, I do realize this yet sometimes it's hard to understand the reasons for that. My philosophy on friendship (true friendships - not just mere acquaintances) is being there for one another through thick and thin aka loyalty.

I have found through the years that what I consider a friendship of that caliber sometimes turns out not to be how the other person in the friendship views it. And in all seriousness that has gotten me hurt on many different occasions and levels. Especially when I feel as though I have invested a great deal of myself into a relationship with another person. I don't do that easily and when I do and get burnt it's especially difficult for me. My fortress of walls gets thicker and higher to say the least.

I have one friend in particular who has fallen off my radar several different times during our 6/7 year friendship. Even to this day I am not sure what happened or why it happened during those times but each time we have found a way to reconnect and enjoy each other once again.
I feel like we are entering one of those times again. And it is my great desire to no allow my expectations on friendships taint what is happening between us.
While I know deep down that this person would do nearly anything for me and my family, I also have to realize that my needs in a friendship might not necessarily be their needs yet that doesn't negate the friendship that has been a worth while one and its been one that I have admittedly missed.

I hope that as we continue to reconnect I can keep things in prospective and not allow my expectations to cloud what is with what I think it should be.

wish me luck.... ;o)

In exactly 3 hours -- 3 years ago tonight....

2008-06-02T18:38:00.003-05:00

Girlie Girlie made her appearance into this world!

It's so hard for me to believe that my little baby is far from being that little any more. Don't get me wrong I know she's not a teenager or anything but seriously she's grown by leaps and bounds this year and has certainly come into her own. Much to my dismay...actually if the big attitude she's got in this little body is any indication of what she's going to be like as a teenager me and hubby better batten down the hatches NOW!!!

Yesterday we celebrated her birthday with a wonderful party that the weather allowed for us to be outdoors. Can you guess the theme???
If you happened to guess DORA the EXPLORER....you win the 50 cent prize. :o)

We had a Dora pull string pinata...something told me bats in the hands of 2, 3 and 4 year olds just wasn't such a good idea. There were Dora treat bags to handle all the candy after the pinata had served it purpose.

This year it was fun to watch Girlie Girlie really get into what it meant to have a birthday party that included school friends because up until this point any kids that were her age normally were kids of friends of the family. But this year I went ahead and invited a few school friends and what a treat that was.

I think Girlie Girlie got more Dora toys than I even knew were made. She especially loved her Dora cell phone and little Dora purse to carry it in. Would you believe the thing even rings periodically on it's own when Dora wants to chat? Freaky I know. LOL!

So at 10:38pm this evening Girlie Girlie will offically be 3 years old and if you care to read about how she came into this world check out this oldie but goodie....One year ago today...Girlie Girlie entered the world.

Spiders behind glass

2008-05-27T09:28:00.003-05:00

Last night as Girlie Girlie fought sleep to the max....out the window she looked and immediately freaked out. On the other side of the glass was a spider (tiny spider to boot) hanging in a web. Instantly she started crying hysterically about how the spider was going to get her. No reasoning with her on my hubby's part could get her to understand that it was NOT going to get her since it was on the other side of the CLOSED window. But to no avail would she be statisfied with that explanation. The only thing that worked was for hubby to open the window and squish the spider.

Then all was right with the WORLD!!! ah to be 2 years old again

Hubby has one week in --

2008-05-24T20:53:00.002-05:00

He's really enjoying the environment a great deal. It's such a positive place filled with people who are looking out for one another rather than trying to stab one another in the back....it's really changed hubby's outlook for the better.

He's more fun to be around. Joking again and generally a happier person. I know that the increase in income is part of his mood change but it's more than that. He's finally feeling valued and those he works with are looking out for him and wanting to help him and have him succeed. It's such a change from his previous work environments.

I am very happy for him that he's finally found his place.

My mom is still in need of a prayers

2008-05-21T07:55:00.003-05:00

I have to once again ask for prayers from my blogging community friends.

Yesterday was my mom's appointment with her oncologist and unfortunately the news wasn't as good as we had hoped it would be. After a 2 hour appointment, she was told that she has leukemia with an 80% chance of putting the disease in remission after treatment -- treatment being 6 months of chemo 3 days a week. At the moment she is still undecided about going ahead with the treatment. Part of me understands her hesitation seeing as she has gone through chemo 15 years ago when she battled breast cancer and won. It's a tough course of treatment and the side effects worry my mom especially since after her first cancer ordeal the chemo ended up damaging her pancreas to the point that she now is a diabetic -- not requiring insulin but still needing meds. Her fear is that this round of chemo will damage the organ further to the point that she will need insulin.

She fears that she won't be able to see her latest grandchild (my sister is due July 3rd). She also looks back 15 years ago to her first cancer ordeal was at the time my sister graduated high school and ended up with Mono her freshman year of college and since my mom was going through chemo she was unable to take of her and my sister had to stay with my grandma. That broke my mom's heart -- not being able to take care of her child. And at the moment she's feeling the same way. Her daughter is going to need her and there's a great possibility that she won't be able to be there for her.

She fears trying to explain this all to Little Man and Girlie Girlie. Will her little 3 year old granddaugther be afraid of her when she's bald? How will her 11 year old grandson handle all the things that come along with her illness? I know it's not going to be easy for either of my children especially since my mom is a central part of their lives. But I am hoping that their presence will give her a reason to fight.

My mom is a fighter but right now she's angry, frustrated and scared. All emotions that I understand. In all honesty I have a good feeling about all of this. I trust in God to carry my mom through this ordeal and bring her through to the other side better than she began. I just need for my mom to feel it too.

So please those that read this blog even if it's for the very first time, I ask for your prayers for my mom. Please add her to your prayer chains/circles. She and I would both very much appreciate it.

Perhaps my calling is helping preschools grow

2008-05-18T16:24:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I attended a local preschool open house with the intention of presenting my information packet on myself in hopes that they might have an opening (even part-time) for an aide/assistant.

I immediately was taken with the director. She said all the right things and I honestly felt that she had the children in her care best interests at heart. She gave me a guided tour of the facility and while they don't follow the total Montessori philosophy I could see many similarities. That in itself made me feel very good about the program. She had a case of five children ranging in age from 3 to 5 years, yet 3 of those 5 will be graduating the program in a few weeks. So that leaves her looking for more students to fill her roles.

I discussed with her some of the cost effective, even free things that Mindy and I did to promote Cornerstone and she was very thankful for the suggestions. To the point even that she mentioned wanting to call me in the future to discuss more ideas for enlarge her enrollment. That made me feel very good. I instantly felt like I was a good fit there.

So I am working on getting some information together to send to her in hopes that she can bolster her enrollment to the point that she just might need me. Kind of feels like deja vue.

Some news about my mom

2008-05-14T16:27:00.000-05:00

My mom got word back today on her recent CT scans of her pelvis, chest and abdomen. There were NO masses in any of the areas scanned. The original sonogram of her stomach indicating a 1.8cm mass in actuality was her rather enlarged spleen which has been an issue in the past due to her anemia.

This is wonderful news and she's very relieved. The bone marrow biopsy results are still not back yet and probably won't be until around the time of her next oncologist appointment which is May 20th.

So while we received good news on one front we are still waiting to see about the determination of lymphoma. So again I ask you to keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She and I both appreciate all the good thoughts.

Something tells me she still NEEDS a nap

2008-05-14T09:06:00.002-05:00

Ever since Girlie Girlie started potty training and has become a full fledged underwear wearer...her naps have become few and far between -- much to this mama of 2's dismay. Honestly I think I needed her nap time as much as she did. That's when I was able to relax and have slience. Not so much of that going on anymore. sigh.

Well every now and again Girlie Girlie's body overrides her head and we find her curled up on the floor in various parts of the living room or dining room. But last night took the cake. We were eating dinner and she told my hubby that she needed to potty so he helped her from the table and off to her little potty in the dining room she went as we continued with dinner.

She was very quiet and when I called to her I didn't get any response so I got up to check on her and would you believe it she was actually sleeping sitting up on her potty chair? I wish my camera's batteries hadn't been dead cause I would have taken her picture.
I got her off the potty and she barely woke up just long enough really to crawl up on the sofa and go back to sleep for about an hour.

So see mama does know BEST -- Girlie Girlie still NEEDS her nap!

What makes people tick?

2008-05-13T07:23:00.003-05:00

As you all are aware hubby was awarded the Mechanic Millwright position that I have been blogging about for some time now.
Well Friday when hubby returned back to the shop at his current job, he went searching for his boss to discuss the fact that he had gotten a new job and to give his two weeks notice. His boss and owner of the company had gone for the day. So hubby left him a note that he needed to speak with him on a private matter and a few hours later his boss phoned him.

During the conversation between the two my hubby's boss did his best to try to talk him out of leaving yet when the discussion finally came around to hubby's new hourly wage his current boss agreed that it was an opportunity the couldn't be passed up. Finally at the end of the conversation he congratulated hubby and that was that.

Or so we thought....

Hubby comes home yesterday and tells me that his boss called him into his office and basically berated him and eluded to the fact that he didn't think he was smart enough to have gotten his new job. He went on to say things about how hubby needed to respect him and not discuss his new job with the other employees. Hubby said this man made it sound like suddenly it was all his fault that there was discension among the employees at the company. Which honestly isn't the case. Hubby isn't the first person to leave for a variety of reasons yet now with their workforce thinning it has to be more difficult to justify all the employees jumping ship. There will be 2 more leaving shortly or giving notice. One is a service tech and the other is another lead installer.

I was just so angry yesterday as I listened to my husband tell me what happened to him. It wasn't that I expected any better from the man who is his boss yet to hear that someone has the balls (excuse my expression) to tell someone to their face that they think they are too stupid is just plain wrong not to mention what does it say about them when up until just recently the boss was working into having hubby be a lead installer.

I just dislike very much that another person made my husband doubt himself again even if was just for a minute. Hubby worked hard to get this job and he deserved the good thing that came his way.

Breakfast in Bed!!

2008-05-11T16:45:00.002-05:00

This morning Little Man brought me breakfast in bed -- a bowl of cereal, toast and my coveted Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. It was the sweetest thing I have ever had done for me and he was so very proud of himself. He was actually beaming.

We went flower shopping as my mother's day presents. We need to replace some plantings in our beds that didn't fair all that well over the winter. I am hoping what I choose this time will do better. We also got flowers for the pots that I set around my front porch and back patio. In among the flowers we got I purchased 2 nice Gerber Daisies for my mom and mother-in-law. We spent some time with each of them and the rest of the day has been pretty much just lounging around drinking coffee and cuddling on the sofa. Not a bad mother's day if I do say so myself.

I hope all of you in blog land have a good mother's day as well.

Good News on at least one front

2008-05-07T19:38:00.002-05:00

Hubby passed not only the test but his physical and as soon as his drug screen comes back (which won't be a problem) he will be leaving his current job and moving on to the mechanic millwright apprenticeship program.

I think he and I are both still in more than a little shock. It's hard to believe that it finally came to pass. I am so happy that someone finally believed in his abilities and that he's going to be rewarded for all of his hard work and effort.

Thank you to all of you who thought good thoughts for him. It's been greatly appreicated.

Wednesday Weigh In...

2008-05-07T19:34:00.002-05:00

...is back.

It's been over a month since I have actually stepped on a scale. I have fallen off the wagon in a major way in terms of my exercising and eating habits. On 4/2/08 my weight was 137.8 lbs. Today I was 139.4 lbs. That's a 1.6 weight gain and actually I was pleasantly suprised by that number since I felt it was going to be much higher.

So it's time for me to get back in the saddle and start watching my food intake as well as getting back into a bit of an exercise routine. Curves is offering a special 30 day trial for $30 as long as you commit to going 3 days a week. A friend of mine and I are considering doing that. I think if I did that for stretch training and muscle toning and added back in my exercise bike or walking I could get back in shape sooner rather than later.

Hopefully

Tomorrow is THE day...

2008-05-06T19:43:00.002-05:00

...TEST day for hubby. I have been doing my best to not get my hopes up about this whole thing even though from all that we have been told about this upcoming test he should do well on it and I know that he will have no problem passing the physical and drug test. Yet it's still tough not to think about what things could be like if he does indeed get this job.

I know we ultimately will still follow Dave Ramsey's advice and all of his baby steps and perhaps we will finally make progress a little more quickly than we have in the past. It would be so nice to get the car we recently bought for me paid off earlier as well as getting hubby's student loan out of forebarance finally since we will have the money to make the payments.

So I am asking for good thoughts from those of you out in blogging land that have been were we are. I would really appreciate it.

Side note about my mom --
My mom received some disturbing news regarding the sonogram she had performed on her abdomen last week. Her PCP called today to tell her that the sonogram indicated a 1.8cm mass. (Which my dad says is about 3/4 of an inch). He indicated that a CT scan would be needed to determine if it is cancerous of benign.
That's on top of another diagnosis the possibility of lymphoma as well. Those of you that frequent this blog I am sure recall my talking about my mom's issues with her red and white blood cell count and how it was effecting her in many different ways. Well her regular oncologist/hematologist left the practice and my mom went to another doctor in the practice and after he reviewed her file he didn't like some of her previous test results and began asking her questions to which many of her answers led him to his thoughts on it being some sort of lymphoma. She's going in for another bone marrow biopsy Thursday and will be having CT Scans of various areas of her body where lymph nodes are located to see if any other areas are effected as well.

Right now it's a guessing game and I am doing my best to stay positive and optimistic since there have been no real answers given it's just a hard thing to do at times. So I am asking those of you with a strong faith even those of you that don't to please pray for my mom. She's only 60 years old and has a great deal of life ahead of her to live.

12 to 12 -- A tie is just as good as a win right?

2008-05-05T19:59:00.002-05:00

Little Man got up to the pitchers mound this evening and at the get go he was throwing strikes...yet after a few questionable calls by the umpire Little Man was getting noticeably frustrated and his pitching began showing it. When the inning finally ended and he came into the dugout you could see his emotions quite clearly.

I can't imagine what it's like to be an umpire trying to make the right call between balls and strikes. It's definitely a job I wouldn't want to do...yet when you watch closely and see that the umpire has a definite bias between the teams it's hard to keep that opinion out of your tone when you are talking to your child.

Little Man did have a stellar hit and batted several runs in so on the upside he did his part at bat. I guess I just don't agree with poor sportsmanship and this team we played today I felt that the adults not the kids were just that poor sports. It's a shame when the big boys feel like they have to live out their unrequited childhood fantasies/dreams.

I'm just not feeling it

2008-05-04T19:41:00.002-05:00

Today I had my second meeting with the woman who is interested in starting a Montessori School. At the first meeting gave her the benefit of the doubt, by that I mean I made allowances for her lack of knowledge since I myself am no where near as acknowledgable as Mindy is in the Montessori Philosophy. But after meeting her for the second time I honestly don't know if she's a good match for me.

When I met Mindy, I felt an instant connection. By that I mean she got me excited about what Montessori meant and had to offer. She's that passionate about it. She is a true Montessorian. Where as this lady, I'm not so sure. I acutally feel like she just decided to jump into this since she is losing her current Professor position at a local university (it was a temporary one that ended up lasting 3 years). In talking with her I feel as if she's flying blind not only in the Montessori aspect of things but also from the business side as well. Not to mention that I am not how to take someone who seems so unable to research things to find her own answers. In this day and age of the internet and technology I honestly feel as though she could find half of what she's looking for if she just put in the effort.

I know how difficult it is to grow a good program as being with Mindy this entire school year and the months before the year even started. I don't believe that this woman has a clue and I don't know if I want to align myself with an individual that I don't feel is in it for the right reasons.

I am sure some of you must be thinking that I am feeling this way because of how close Mindy and I are and that it was my intention to grow the school with her. That's not the case at all. It's my gut talking to me not my heart and it's telling me that perhaps this isn't where I should be.

We do have a meeting this Wednesday evening with the church still interested in having a preschool at their facility. I think that will be my last attempt to see where things go and how I feel about how the individual handles this meeting. Since I made it plain to her that this is her school and she has to follow the direction she wants it to take. Where as with Mindy it was as much my school as it was hers. She had the Montessori experience and knowledge and I had the business know how. With this woman I feel like I am supposed to have both and in all honesty I am not comfortable with the Montessori knowledge. I certainly have more than enough to be an assistant but not the head teacher and if I did I would be taking over Cornerstone myself.

6 to 4 -- close by no cigar

2008-05-02T20:33:00.002-05:00

Tonight Little Man pitched a stellar game. He was on the mark more times than he was off and ended up striking out at least 3 batters and walking only 1. We all were so very proud of him. It seems like now that we are in the minors the games are less of runaway wins than they had been in previous years. I like the close games with good calls and good plays. It makes for a much more interesting couple of hours.

Test 2 has been scheduled

2008-05-01T20:20:00.002-05:00

That's right this coming Wednesday, May 7th, hubby will be taking an apptitude test for the company he has been working to obtain an apprenticeship with. If all goes well and he passes said test he will then take the physical exam that same day.

It's looking good for him. I am still keeping my fingers and toes crossed of course but I have a good feeling about it all.

Thanks for all of your good thoughts and prayers for hubby and my family. They are greatly appreciated. And if you don't mind keep them coming for just a little while longer. LOL!

Details on hubby's potential job....

2008-04-30T20:15:00.002-05:00

Below is are the back and forth e-mails between hubby or myself and the HR person at the company in question:

(The original phone call from this individual indicated she was having trouble getting his test results and wanted to be sure what site he took the test at.)

Mrs. C,
I indeed took the CCAC placement test at the Boyce Park Campus on Thursday, April 24th at 9am. I have a copy of my results given to me by the moderator. If you are in need of my copy please let me know. Thank you again for all of your assistance in this matter.
Regards,
Hubby

Thanks. I may have to ask you for your results. Since you phone message said that you did pretty good, I am going to have NancyFintor set you up for the Mechanic-Millwright test here on site.
Thanks for your patience.
Carol

Good Morning Carol,
This is hubby's wife Mama of 2 returning your e-mail. If you would like the results just via e-mail let me know and I can report them to you through a return e-mail. If you want a copy of the physical paper he received I could either fax or mail one to you. Let me know. Thanks again.

Let's make it easy. Just email me the grades. Thanks! Nancy Fintor will be contacting you guys today to set up the Mech-Millwright test. The test takes about 3 hours so I am glad thatits Nancy's job and not mine! If hubby has to take an entire day of vacation for this, then we will try to get his pre-employment physical done on the same day. The nurse will be at fire school on Thursday and Friday so I'll ask Nancy to set up for next week.
By the way, the background is clear and once hubby passes the test and I get the physical results, it's a go. We are almost there.

There was an e-mail with hubby's placement test results forwarded. Since I reported that in another post I didn't feel the need to recopy them again.

We got the scores and Nancy Fintor will be contacting you guys fortesting. Hubby great!

The next test in question is scheduled for Wednesday, May 7th at 8am. It's a 3 hour test. Please keep your fingers and toes too crossed. It's looking like this could possibily be an actual go. I am so very proud of my husband and how hard he's worked for this.

16 to 5 -- WE WON!

2008-04-30T20:12:00.002-05:00

Tonight was Little Man's second baseball game. And while he wasn't one of our pitchers tonight he did play catcher, 1st base and short stop. He's grown into quite the little ball player. I am so very proud of him. He also hit a line drive that yeilded him a double. --- which of course I missed since I was carting Girlie Girlie to the potty for the umpteenth time.

Our next game is Friday evening where he will again get to pitch. I am sure my stomach will be in knots but I really enjoy that's he's growing and stretching his abilities.

Good thoughts please

2008-04-29T20:14:00.002-05:00

This post has nothing to do with either mine or hubby's current potential job situation. These good thoughts are for my mom. She's going in for a sonogram of her abdomen early Thursday morning.
Those of you who frequent this blog know that my mom has been dealing with some ongoing health issues and at a recent doctor's appointment what she thought was just her spleen being a bit enlarged again due to her anemic condition turns out to be a something in her stomach. She's already dealt with breast cancer in her life (15 years ago) but I know her well enough to realize that immediately her mind is thinking the BIG "C". And while I can't blame her I do my best to not immediately go there yet today I was reading an e-mail from a dear friend that discussed the signs and symptoms of Ovarian Cancer even if you don't have your ovaries. (Which my mom does not). In all honesty reading that freaked me out a bit since there were far too many similarities for my liking. I don't know if I should forward the e-mail to my parents address with a little note to my dad (since he's the only one that really uses the computer) of wait until after her sonogram and see what the outcome is.
Ovarian Cancer can be ruled out or confirmed by a simple cancer marker test done by a mere blood draw. I don't really know which way to go. I don't want to scare my mom more than I am sure she already is but I also don't want to sit on the info if it could possibly help.

Any thoughts? What would you do if you were me?

I don't know who was more nervous...

2008-04-27T19:34:00.002-05:00

...me or Little man!

Yesterday was Opening Day for our Little League and while the weather was nice enough to get the opening ceremonies in and a few of the early in the day games -- the rain clouds rolled in and our game along with several others were cancelled and rescheduled for today.

This is Little Man's second year in the minor league (kid pitch) and this year he expressed and interest in actually being a pitcher. Hubby has been working with him quite a bit and for the most part I think we have a nice little pitcher on our hands. That is if he can keep his emotions in check. He's the type of kid that gets over the top emotional one way or the other. By this I mean he will either get super mad or just well up into tears.

So today in our make up opening game Little Man was the starting pitcher. In all honesty I almost couldn't watch that's how much my stomach was in knots. Lucky for me Girlie Girlie picked just that time to have to make a potty run. I will have to say the first inning he struggled throwing close to 37 pitches according to hubby. The second inning he faired much better only throwing 13 and striking at least one batter out. Overall I was really proud of him.
He also played 1st base for all of our team's innings in the field. I was amazed at how far he's come since the very beginning. I was beaming as I watched him catch the ball, make plays and tag runners out at 1st.

The final score was 4-3 and the other team ended up being the winners yet it was a good solid game that left me feeling great about my son and his accomplishments.

Which door is God really opening?

2008-04-25T19:10:00.002-05:00

Out of the blue this morning we recieved a call at the school from a woman who wanted to pick Mindy's brain about opening a Montessori school in the surrounding area. I am not sure if she knew our school was permanently closing or not but after talking to the woman Mindy set up a meeting for this coming Tuesday at 4pm. Of course she pimped me as her assistant and dropped a few well placed hints that I would be looking for continued employment.
This individual doesn't have Montessori Teaching Credentials but she is well educated from what she told Mindy. Apparently she would hire a Montessori Teacher to run the class.

Both Mindy and I wondered how she would financially do such a thing as well as handle all of the overhead running and operating a school entails. We both concluded that perhaps her intention was to take out a business loan as many people traditionally do.

So this evening while having dinner with hubby -- I mentioned to him this new development and the first thing out of his mouth after I mentioned this woman hiring a Montessori teacher..."Why doesn't she just hire Mindy? That way she could collect a salary and maybe they (Mindy and her family) wouldn't have to move back to Michigan." In all honesty neither Mindy or I had thought of that. Immediately I was on the phone to Mindy making that very same suggestion. It's definitely something that she(Mindy) wants to discuss with her husband. As Mindy and I talked about it a little longer, we figured that we would be able to get most of the enrollment that we had for the upcoming 2008-2009 school year back along with perhaps moving forward with the church that was interested in partnering with us in originally.

I realize that I very well could be getting my hopes up for something that may never come to pass yet I can't help myself in thinking that it could be possible. I mean we get this call out of the blue really and it has the potential to be something that would not only allow for our little school to still grow, give Mindy an income to help her family finances and let my best friend and her family stay here in PA.

There is also the possibility that the above mentioned church could still go ahead with the preschool idea even without Mindy's presense and I would have an opportunity to work with them and continue the work that I feel we started at Cornerstone.

And lastly there is a wide area for me to begin looking for another preschool that is in need of me.

Seems like there are many doors that could be swinging open yet how to I know the one God is opening for me? I have been praying about it and asking for His guidance. I guess this where the whole concept of faith and trust come into play huh?

That's a lot to think about.

The test has been taken

2008-04-24T18:14:00.002-05:00

Today was D-day or TEST Day for my hubby. I am so very proud of all the efforts he has made in the last few weeks with his studying and seeking out assistance from those who were more versed in the subject matter. In the last 9 or so years of our marriage hubby has grown tremendously as a person and I am very glad we made it through our rocky start to have a strong marriage today.

Well okay onto the results of his test. This was a placement test for a local community college -- one that he would actually attend for his apprenticeship classes should he be hired by this particular company. He had to take a writing skills test, reading placement test and math placement test. Here are his scores:

Writing -- 94 out of 100
Reading -- 97 out of 100
Math:
Pre Algebra -- 69 out of 100
Algebra -- 28 out of 100

The moderator giving the test commented on the fact that he felt my hubby did very well especially since he has been out of high school 21 years and during his high school career he never once took any Algebra classes. I honestly am very proud of hubby. I am looking at the reading and writing scores as a bonus really as I believe it shows his ability to read and comprehend what he needs to learn the job they would be hiring hiim to do. And I also believe full heartedly that if hubby gets instruction from competent instructors on Algebra and the higher math needed for the position he's applied for that he will learn and excel at it.
The company in question has not only contacted hubby's references they also pulled his credit report and his driver's license/recording so it appears they are getting all their ducks in a row.

It's my greatest hope that hubby is given the chance to prove himself and offered a job. It will not only improve our finances but it will also give hubby a much needed boost in his self-esteem.

2008-04-22T17:10:00.002-05:00

My floor CAN'T be more comfortable than her bed!!

At least I don't believe so but Girlie Girlie has taken to camping out each night on the floor in hubby and my room. It's not like I don't try to put her in her own bed (crib) but she fusses and cries to the point of making herself almost sick. She keeps telling me she wants me and goes through many many gyrations until she's literally begging to sleep on my floor. Of course this mom gives in not only because Girlie Girlie is near hysterics but also because this mom is way beyond tired.

So what normally happens is I set her up a nice little sleeping area in front of our bed. She's asked for the TV to be on and my answer is always no -- since I know that she will never go to sleep if it's on. I sit in my bed reading my bible and a chapter in my Joel Osteen book and then I turn off the light and lay there until she falls asleep. It normally doesn't take very long really. Then I turn the TV on for me and there she sleeps the entire night through.

Well last night hubby was taking a shower and I had things I needed to finish downstairs so I allowed Girlie Girlie to sleep on the floor while hubby was showering (he left the TV on -- and she wasn't asleep when I came up to check) so I turned the tv off and the light and left her there to fall asleep on her own. And get this she did just that. Not a single remark about wanting mommy or needing me. Not a single tear or hysterical cry. She's falling asleep in total darkness -- she has a night light in her room. Tell me if that makes any sense at all. It certainly doesn't to me. Hubby thinks maybe she's ready to be out of her crib completely. Maybe he's right. I am thinking about taking down her crib and just leaving her the mattress on the floor and see what happens with that.

Honestly though I am at a loss. I realize that it's not a huge battle and she won't be 16 years old and still sleeping on my floor but in all selfishness I miss my down time of putting her to bed and being able to go on the computer or read in private.

Thoughts anyone?

And on the potty training note -- she's doing very very well. Just 3 accidents total in 6 days. I'm over the moon with her progress.

WE HAVE SUCCESS!!

2008-04-18T20:15:00.002-05:00

If you couldn't tell by the title I am a bit over the moon. Girlie Girlie has worn big girl underwear for 2 days now with only 1 true accident which was early on and she didn't much care for it.
She's been successful in both areas of potty training if you get my drift and the sheer joy on her face when she makes pee pee in the potty is heart warming to this mom. Not to worry I am sure we will still have our fair share of accidents since I realize that it's a learning curve for her but honestly I am just so happy with the success that we have had so far that I couldn't help shouting about it.

She's even told me she had to potty when we have been in stores and restaurants and the most impressive time to me is when she stops what she's doing on the playground or just playing outside to tell me she has to potty.

So I am hoping we are on our way to being diaper free.

On a side note -- Mindy and I sent a letter to the church that was hoping to work in conjunction with Cornerstone Montessori a few days ago and today she received a call from one of the church members who was working closely with us in pulling this affiliation together. It seems that the church still is anxious about having a preschool program and they were wondering what my intentions were now that our school would be closing. She asked if I would call her so that we could discuss it. So it looks like I might still be able to have a job working in a preschool that allows me to have the family life that I am desiring. I will let you all know more after I speak to her.

References being called

2008-04-14T17:36:00.002-05:00

Hubby is scheduled to take a placement test on April 24th for the Millwright Mechanic job that I mentioned in previous posts. A while back he actually interviewed with the company and gave them a resume at that time yet wasn't hired for the position they had available. So fast forward a few months at least 6 could be 8 even and now he's been called again for another Millwright Mechanice position that available. He won't have to actually interview again since we were told by a few friends of ours that actually work for the company that his first interview went extremely well and he was well liked by all the interviewers but at that time they went with a different candidate.

We found out this afternoon by accident that the company has begun calling hubby's references. Hubby put in a call to a friend whose son plays little league with our Little Man about getting the boys together to practice and found out that the company in question had called our friend (who is listed as a reference on hubby's resume) this afternoon. I am anxious for hubby to come home and tell me what was said better the two parties.

I am still trying to keep myself in check when it comes to hubby getting this job. I don't want to get overly excited especially since he hasn't even taken the placement test yet but it appears that they (the company) are moving forward with his application. I am crossing my fingers, toes and all other available body parts for good things to happen.
If hubby were to get this job that would allow the time to find another preschool job or even perhaps to go back to school and get some early childhood classes or even my teaching degree.

So your thoughts and good wishes would be greatly appreciated.

Disaster averted!

2008-04-10T18:38:00.002-05:00

And no that doesn't mean that Cornerstone Montessori isn't closing its doors as of June 5th or that I am still not losing my best friend to the state of Michigan...but it does mean that my house is still in one piece.

Let me start by saying that we have a 5 (almost 6) year old Siberian Husky named OZ who we love dearly but if any of you out there are even vaguely familiar with this breed you know that they are mischeivious and easily bored. So that's why when we leave the house he's crated.
Well this morning as Little Man, Girlie Girlie and I are getting ready to leave the house I turned my head as I was about to buckle Girlie Girlie into her carseat and there sits OZ looking at me through our single french door.
We were running behind this morning due to Girlie Girlie's wardrobe issues (I'll save this for an entirely different post) so I neglected to remind Little Man to put the dog in his crate and OZ was quietly laying in the darkened living room without a care in the world. I am sure he was thinking "WOO HOO! Wonder what I can get into?"

Well I was having none of that. Back inside I went and into his crate the little dog -okay not so little dog- went -- house saved -- disaster averted.

Feeling strangely calm...

2008-04-06T16:02:00.002-05:00

...given the fact that after June 5th I will no longer have a job and on top of that I will be losing one of my closest...if not my closest friends.

About a month ago, Mindy's husband lost his current job due to downsizing. And while he fully expected to find another position relatively quickly it hasn't happened in the manner in which suits the family's needs. The pair of them have agonized over the decision to move back to Michigan (*that's where they were from before moving here to my state). Without going into too much of their personal business it just makes the best sense for their family to move back there not only financially but in other areas as well. It's a decision that I completely understand in the rational yet in the emotional area it's tearing me up.

I felt that she and I were just on the cusp of turning Cornerstone Montessori into the thriving school it could be not to mention the growth potential we had with the affiliation of the church that was interested in working with us. I am trying to look at it on the positive in the fact that God doesn't always give us what we want but he gives us what we need. And of course that means we have to trust in him and things we can't see or control. I hope that I am doing a better job of that as of late. I have stopped getting lost in the whole pity me party or moaning 'why doesn't it ever work out for me and my family' because I know in my heart that it has worked out. In all of our times of need God has been there to provide, whether it be financially by allowing for a raise, a new job or even extra side jobs for hubby. He's provided the means for my family to come through illnesses and physical adversities so I know that right now he will do the same. I just have to open my heart and trust that he will provide an a way.

It pains me to know that Girlie Girlie is going to lose a great influence in her life by Mindy being 7 hours away rather than less than 20 minutes. Girlie Girlie has grown so much at the preschool under Mindy's direction and while I know that I can do my best to continue what has been started there it's not the same. Mindy is a complete teacher at heart not to mention she loves my Girlie Girlie as if she were her own. That's rare to find in a friendship and over all that's what upsets me the most is that that will be taken away from not only my daughter but myself as well.
I honestly felt as though I found a home with Mindy. I could be completely who I am flaws and all and felt secure that she would love me no matter what. And even though I thought I had that with other friends I know now that I hadn't based on what I have had with her. Not to mention that I love her family as my own. I would do anything for her children and her husband.

So I guess for the time being things will remain as they are. We will finish out the school year and I will collect unemployment during the summer months and spend that time with my children enjoying what that means and then begin putting out my feelers to see what is available to me. I have 20 years experience in the payroll and human resources area so I could certainly go back to that but I think I am first going to explore the possibility of other preschools that might be interested or in need of an assitant/aide. I think if I put feelers out before the school year end in that area I might be able to get something going. There is also the possibility of taking in one of our current students who will need full time care (she's with us a full day). That's a possible option. Not to mention the fact if my hubby were to get the job/apprenticeship mentioned in the previous post that would make what I did to bring in an income less important. That's not to say that I wouldn't work but I would be more flexible in what I could choose.

So if you all could think good thoughts over my family that would be wonderful. Thanks

Hubby has another shot at it...

2008-03-26T17:48:00.001-05:00

I don't know if you all recall or not but late last year hubby had an employment opportunity with a company that we were very excited over. It had great potential. It was a good paying job and while he was well liked in the interview it was decided that another candidate was more suitable for the position.

Well this afternoon the human resources department called here looking to discuss another available position (Mechanic Millwright) it was the same thing hubby interviewed for the first time. This time they are asking rather than interviewing since he had already done that -- he now has to take the general placement test given by a local community college.
This position starts out around $24.00 an hour and after the apprenticeship program has been completed hubby could be making close to $27.00 an hour. That alone has me bouncing off the walls but the fact that this sort of job would give him so much marketability in all industries he basically could write his own ticket were he to ever lose his job.

So if you wouldn't mind thinking good thoughts for us I would greatly appreciate it. I am trying to not get overly excited but honestly that's easier said than done really.

2008-03-26T07:51:00.002-05:00

"I want you mama"

That's my Girlie Girlie's mantra as of late. Seems like anytime I am out of her sight especially at night she's saying that over and over again. It's getting to be a little frustrating and it's making bed time rather cumbersome. It seems as though if she goes down easily she will then wake up in the middle of the night needing me in the worst way. I admit to making the mistake a few times of taking her downstairs where we both fell asleep on the couch. On the weekend I can do that but during the week when we both have school and work it's not the best idea. Last night was pretty much the same at 1am she was crying for me telling how much she wanted me and when she mentioned going downstairs I refused. I am doing my best to nip this bud. She was relentless though. She asked to join me in bed....I told her that there was no room since daddy was already in there sleeping. Again came the "I want you, mama" so finally I told her that she could sleep in my room on the floor and of course she jumped at the chance. So after an hour or more she finally fell asleep and slept there until 7am this morning. I honestly don't want this to become a habit either yet part of me doesn't want to have the nightly battle about sleeping in her own bed. I mean could there be a true reason behind her wanting or needing to know I am close by? And if I don't allow her to get over this naturally will I be making matters worse? It's a really tough call for me especially since when my kids go to bed I consider that my time to rest and relax and at the moment I am feeling like I am not getting that. Selfish I know but what's a mom to do?

The other scenerio is it takes 2 hours to put her down with her continually saying "I want you, mama" and then finally she exhausts herself to the point she falls asleep and sleeps straight through without a peep. Either way it's a long frustrating process for the both of us I think. And to make matters worse she has decided that napping in the afternoon isn't something she's too interested in anymore. I know that we are probably reaching the age when she's going to stop napping altogether but with her nighttime sleeping habits lately she (and me) needs that nap.

I am so at a loss right now. Any thoughts?!?!

Yes I am alive and well...

2008-03-24T09:29:00.002-05:00

Okay so I have been very lacks at blogging lately. Looking at the calendar I see it's been nearly 2 weeks since I put fingers to keyboard. Thanks to those of you who posted comments asking if I was alright. Indeed I am...just not much blogging time as of late.

So here's what's been going on since my bought with illness.
I have been planning my sister's baby shower (it's Saturday, April 5th). This is her first child and they recently found out that they are having a girl. I am still reserving judgement on that since when I had Little Man my ultrasound told he was to be a she and low and behold she was really a he! So I am steering clear of a totally "pink" shower motiff. Acutally I am going to do baby bottle filled with spring colored m&ms and I am hoping to find the pink and blue baby feet lollipops to do up a couple centerpieces.
It's going to be a small shower really about 25 people max. So it will be a nice afternoon of chatting and getting to see my sister with a nice little pooch where her little one is living for the next 3 or so months.

Easter was uneventful really. Hubby, Little Man, Girlie Girlie and myself went to church. We stopped at my in laws on the way home to visit with them for a little while and for Girlie Girlie to show off her beautiful dress -- that's how she described it. Then later in the afternoon my parents came down and had dinner with us. Nothing too fancy just ham, scalloped potatoes, corn, applesauce and rolls. My mom was feeling abit under the weather so they didn't stay too long after the meal. The rest of the night was spent watching movies and just spending some family time together.

On the preschool front it looks like next school year we will have a new home at Poke Run Presbyterian Church. The board of trustees was notably impressed with our presentation a few weeks back and are very anxious for us to come and be a part of their organization. We have two Church Elders that will be working with us to get things underway. Both Mindy and I are very excited about the growth potential that we have with the church and we even have a student from the church membership already enrolled for next school year. So it looks like over the long haul Cornerstone Montessori is going to grow.

I am attempting this week...since we are on spring break to potty train Girlie Girlie. Deep down I believe she's ready especially since the other night after getting a bath she says to me "mama put on my diaper so I can pee pee". I sent her to the potty straight away and she peed and was beyond proud of her accomplishment. So I have to believe she understands what it means to have to pee and poo. So this past weekend I purchased some vinyl pants to put over her training underwear just to help with holding the accidents. And today I put them on her...at first she wasn't too thrilled but once she got the rest of her clothes on she seemed fine. However even after putting her on the potty every 15 minutes...she still peed in her underwear. I didn't make a big deal out of it. I just changed the underwear and put her clothes back on. Yet in all honesty I am frustrated. I want her to be potty trained. I am impatient .... I know you all are thinking "impatient -- no NOT Mama of 2" LOL! Any suggestions that you all might like to share? I could really use them.

Okay the timer just buzzed which means it's time to sit on the potty. LOL!

Why is it a mom has to be dying before anyone else picks up the slack??

2008-03-09T10:42:00.002-05:00

That's what I have been thinking all morning as I have been attempting to dig out of the mess my house is in since I have been sick.
I was lucky enough to have my hubby's sickness from last weekend shared with me starting this past Wednesday and honestly I haven't felt up to snuff to really do the things around the house that I normally do and boy did this morning really showcase that as I looked around.

I finally don't have a fever but I am still not feeling 100% yet if I didn't step up and do a few things #1 we would have had no underwear (I have mountains of laundry) and the sink was full of things that desparately needed washing -- actually 1/2 of them could have been out of sight if someone had just thought to put them in the dishwasher where the belonged anyhow. Sensing a little bitterness in my voice yet?

I am over the top irritated at the moment. I feel like while hubby will do almost anything that I ask him to do in terms of helping me...but why is it that when things are staring him in the face he can't see what's right in front of him or worse yet only does the job half way -- meaning it's never finished to completion?

So if there are any men or husbands out there reading this entry please clue me in with some answers to my questions. Thanks in advance.

Wednseday Weigh In

2008-03-05T11:09:00.002-05:00

Okay no dancing Snoopy today...actually I am up .6 of a pound. I am disappointed to say that I am weighing in 137lbs. I know that weight goes up and down but I had been going down steadily even if it was just small increments. So I am trying to not be down on myself but it's not working all that well.

We have a meeting...

2008-03-04T14:39:00.002-05:00

Next Tuesday Mindy and I will be meeting with the Trustees from a local church who are possibly interested in our little school...Cornerstone Montessori...becoming part of their establishment. We are interested in more than just leasing space from them but rather becoming part of their church family. Now I personally wouldn't be joining the church since I am already a long standing member of my childhood church yet Mindy and her family would most definitely consider becoming members of this particular church.

So this weekend with the help of Mindy's husband we will be putting together a power point presentation to bring with us along with a few recommendation letters from a few of our well spoken parents. In all honesty...at the moment both Mindy and I are nervous and excited at the same time. After meeting with the Pastor a few weeks ago, we walked away with a good feeling about that being the place for us and our little school.

So if all of you could think good thoughts for us between now and next Tuesday that would be great!!

RSV and all things winter

2008-03-01T11:15:00.003-05:00

I don't know about the rest of the world but this stressed out mama is so ready for winter to be OVER!!! Snow has long lost its appeal....who am I kidding for me it lost its appeal before it ever even showed up. I am really not a winter gal. Why my family and I live in the state that we do is beyond me....oh yeah it's because my hubby won't dare to move. LOL!

So this winter we have been battling sickness on and off. Girlie Girlie is currently on an inhaler for a mild case of RSV and has an ear infection on top of that. Seems like the minute we get over one thing something else comes to bite us in the butt. Hubby is fighting off what I am sure is some version of the flu. He's currently camped out on the sofa looking as though death would be a welcome relief.
Little Man and myself haven't escaped totally but I think he and I have handled it much better. Which is good cause you know how it is when mama gets really sick and is down and out. It's NEVER good.

I know spring is only 19 days away yet at the moment looking at the at least 5 inches of snow the latest winter storm dumped on us...well those 19 days feel like an eternity. Hopefully the weather people will be right and in the next few days the temps will warm enough to get rid of the snow and slush....but for right now we are home bound.
I am currently thinking about making some cookies and relaxing a bit since Girlie Girlie had me up on and off last night quite a bit. I need to squeeze my 20 minutes on the exercise bike too.

Well I hope the rest of the blogging world is fairing well and if you are dealing with snow as I am that you are handling it better.

Wednseday Weigh In

2008-02-27T10:17:00.004-05:00

Okay since there are 2 happy dancing Snoopys you know that means I have a nice weight loss. The magic loss is 2.2 lbs!! My weigh in was 136.4 lbs!

I am feeling so very empowered lately by finally getting my weight and exercise under control finally. It's a great feeling!!

So my total loss at the moment is 12.4 pounds!!! If you can't tell I am overly excited. So I hope I don't sound too over the top but if I do...oh well so be it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

2008-02-23T09:23:00.002-05:00

and yes that was a shameless plug to get as many birthday well wishes for myself as possible. LOL!

Today I have reached the ripe old age of 38. Not too daunting actually...in all honesty I don't think about age all that much. It's really just a number on a piece of paper and at the moment I am feeling young and vibrant so to heck with the numbers right?
Nothing much exciting happening for my special day. Little Man's final basketball game is this morning and after that as a team will are heading to Diary Queen to celebrate. He's looking forward to that. Then afterwards he's spending the afternoon with a friend for a play date while hubby, Girlie Girlie and I hit the grocery stores for a little shopping.
As you can see nothing all that exciting to commemorate my milestone.

Enrollment at the school for next year is on the rise. We have 2 available spaces for our morning class and 1 for our afternoon. That's very exciting. Two out of three of the families that attended our recent open house signed up their children for the upcoming year. We are still waiting on word from a local church about possibly using some space at their facility. If that does work out we will have the ability to take more children. That means a bit more of an advertising push but given that last year at this time we weren't even sure if we would have enough children to run a school I am hopeful that we will have more than enough students to fill a larger school.

We have been reworking our food budget a bit and I am happy to say that I have been keeping our food expenses down to about $85 a week. I didn't realize what a stock pile of meats we had in the freezer and I have been making most of my weekly meals from that stockpile. I know that when that's gone I will have to again outlay a decent amount of money to stockpile again but that's okay since I seem to be back on track of cooking for the family nightly and making good use of what we have.
I still need to get back into my budgeting again. I feel like we are in a slump at the moment. There's not a lot of extra so I feel like we have severely slowed down in the knocking out our second mortgage payment. It's my hope that with our income tax refund we can put a large chunk on that and get it knocked out. It's just hard because at the moment hubby and I are just making enough to get by and there isn't money extra to put into growing our fully funded emergency fund and what not. It's tough not to get down about it yet on the other hand we don't have any credit card debt and we are living within our means and that says alot.

Okay off to get the kids ready for basketball.

Wednesday Weigh In...

2008-02-21T14:38:00.003-05:00

...a day late.

Due to an illness I was unable to weigh in yesterday so I stepped on the scale this morning instead to the tune..... 138.6lbs! That's another .2 lbs in the right direction.

It's not as much as I had hoped for but honestly any loss in the downward direction is a good one.

I found out that my graduating class is planning out 20 year class reunion for Labor Day weekend which gives me even more incentive to get to my target weight of 125lbs by that time. I am hoping that's not too lofty of a goal given that that's 7 months away and that would be 13lbs divided by 7 about 2 pounds a month. I think that's doable especially if I keep up with what I have been doing.

Keep your fingers crossed.